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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 2 months ago

Why do people think they should divorce just because they aren’t “happy”. You’re not going to be happy all the time?

People expect to be on a high the entire marriage but that’s impossible. As soon as they feel unhappy they wanna divorce. Why??? Every marriage has problems you’re not gonna be in butterfly rainbow land all the time unless you’re a teenager. Divorcing because of fickle emotions is what is wrong with this world

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  • 2 months ago

    My argument exactly.  Could not have said it better myself.

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  • 2 months ago

    Divorce isn't about being "unhappy" all the time. Sometimes people grow apart emotionally. Other times, they are just too immature to work things out.

    Whatever their issues are, it's up to them to work things through or not. It's out of your hands, so live your OWN LIFE, not the lives of others. It's technically none of your business, or my business either.

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  • LizB
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    By the time consider divorce it's gone WELL beyond just being "not happy." Usually the relationship has been unhealthy, if not outright traumatic or dangerous, for quite a long time. Living in that kind of chronically stressful environment has very real impacts on a person's mental and physical health.

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  • 2 months ago

    It's a little more complicated than happy and not happy. Very few people who divorce do so without giving it serious thought. No one is flippantly divorcing for the fun of it, or because they had a bad day, or because they haven't had sex in a week.

    The reality is, divorce is expensive, time consuming, and emotionally draining. It puts extensive legal constraints on something that is already painful. It's not something the average person really considers unless things have gotten VERY bad. What that looks like could mean different things for different people, but it's not like anyone wakes up one morning and says "you know what, you snore at night and, after twenty years, I can't live like this anymore. I want a divorce."

    It's also very much worth noting that the divorce rate (at least in the US) has been steadily decreasing for the last 30-40 years. So, not only are people not just getting divorced willy nilly, in many cases they're not divorcing at all. A couple that gets married today has a better chance of staying married than a couple that got married in 1980. 

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  • 2 months ago

    Its a matter of degree, isn't it.

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    I don't recall my teen years being "butterfly rainbow land."  We must have had different experiences.

    I divorced when I realized that my marriage was tearing at my self confidence, self worth, self respect.

    I don't judge other people.  Perhaps thinking that way would make you happier.  Or not.

    You expect to be taken seriously and you think wanna is a word?

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  • n2mama
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    No, you aren’t going to be happy all the time with anything. But if you have reached a point where your relationship makes you miserable, where you avoid going home, when being with your partner creates more stress than it relieves, then you owe it to yourself to make a change. Maybe you can find happiness with your partner again through counseling, but maybe you can’t.

    Divorce is traumatic and expensive, and not something most people choose to do lightly. People don’t generally divorce over fickle emotions, as you put it, they divorce due to ongoing issues they can’t resolve by staying together.

    I’m guessing you either are not married, have never been married, and probably have never had a relationship that has lasted longer than five years.

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