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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 2 months ago

How to deal with my parents continue to get rid of my things randomly?

I'm in my 20's still living with my parents. About 3 year ago, my dad took all my childhood stuff that were stored in the basement, and donated them to the thrift store without asking or telling me about it. I had some old toys, lego sets, stuffed animals and childhood keepsakes that were stored in the basement. One day, I went downstairs to search for my stuff and found out that all the stuff from my childhood are all gone! My dad is a short tempered man, I was afraid to ask him for an explanation.I remember crying for a week before I finally got the courage to ask him why he donated my stuff without asking me? He simply said, 'welll I thought you don't wan't it anymore, so I donated it. He just assume that I didn't want the stuff anymore without even asking me. He said he didn't do it on purpose and promised that next time he will ask before getting rid of my things. This it's just a one-off incident. I decide to let it go and move on. I thought after discussing this issue with him he won't do the same thing again but that's the that case! Beside from my childood keepstake and there were also some boxes of items filled with my mom's personal belongings stacked in the basement. Not long afterwards, when he decided to clear out the entire basement he gotten rid of my mother's belongings too. He donated and gave away all her clothes, shoes household items, mugs without her consent or knowledge. When she confronted him about it, he became defensive and lashed out.

Update:

Me and my mom have talked about this issuee with him years ago when he got rid of our stuff from the basement, plead him not to throw our things away again without any consent or knowledge on our part. But it happened again recently. My dad continue to randomly throw things away, without any disregards to what it is and who it belongs to? It seems like he doesn’t care or respect your possessions, he doesn’t see a problem with that, and it isn’t going to change. 

6 Answers

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  • Edna
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    A good rule of thumb to keep in mind when you  "store" things away:  If you haven't used it or seen it in over one year, get rid of it!  You don't need it or want it anymore, and it's just taking up space.

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  • 2 months ago

    You know what the definition of stupidity is: keep on doing the same thing and getting the same unwanted result.

    You say you've talked to your dad dozens of times. So STOP talking, why waste your breath, and go and pick up your stuff and rent a storage cell.

    What happens with your mom's stuff is for her to work out with your father,but it might be nice if you offered to take her things too and maybe split the rent of the storage.

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    you might be able to get some of the stuff back from the thrift store,and maybe you should move out so this stuff dont keep happening

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    You're still obsessing over this?  Put your adult pants on and move out.

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  • 2 months ago

    Perhaps you and your mother can have a conversation with your Dad, explaining how his behavior has impacted on you both. If you truly feel he will not listen or understanding, consider removing your belongings into a secure storage space so you can have your memories without fear of them being discarded. You also may want to consider how you interact with your Dad, given you say he has a short temper. Remember, you cannot control or change your Dad, but you are solely responsible for how you respond/react. Make different choices around your Dad so you are not left feeling frustrated, angry, sad and/or hurt.

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    • 2 months agoReport

      But it happened again recently. It seems like he doesn’t care or respect your possessions, he doesn’t see a problem with that, and it isn’t going to change.

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  • 2 months ago

    I would consider getting a rental storage unit with mom and whomever else doesn't want dad getting rid of certain things. Or, you could get a like a filing cabinet or safe and put your things in it. Offering to help him go through things would be another option; you can spin it as helping him with sorting through the family stuff and organizing the basement.

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    • Edna
      Lv 7
      2 months agoReport

      It may be "your" stuff, but you're storing it and taking up space in your dad's basement. Did you ASK him if you could store it there? 

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