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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingToddler & Preschooler · 2 months ago

How do I get my toddler to sleep in her own bed?

My three year old sleeps in my bed and I’ve let her do this. I like it too because I love to be close with my daughter. We don’t get a lot of bonding time during the day because I work from 6-3:30. I try to get her to sleep in her bed with fun stuffed toys or cute little lights around her bed but she cries and wants to be with me. Will she outgrow this? My family thinks it’s not good for her and they say she won’t lol at me as her mom, but a buddy. They also think she will be teased about it as she gets older if I don’t stop it. Any advice? 

16 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    I really would suggest you do get her into her own bed, it's not going to be easy especially since she has got away with sleeping with you so long and it's comfort for her but she would do so much better in her own bed, we are struggling right now with our (almost) 2-year-old, she gets out a lot and we have to put her back in, there are many ways to do this. 

    It will take some work to get her into a new routine, try a bedtime routine. We do teeth, story, cuddles and then bed at the same time every night, you will need to be patient this isn't going to happen over night but in the long run it will be better for you both 

    Good luck x

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  • 2 months ago

    If you're worried about the bonding part, try reading her a bedtime story before she goes to bed and then after story time is over, tuck her in. If she's afraid of the dark, buy a nightlight (nothing too bright though) for her so that she's not having any nightmares. However don't do that if it keeps her awake and instead, leave the door open just a crack with the light on. If she gets out of bed take her back and say "It's bedtime" then tuck her back in, if she gets up a second time say "Bedtime" and tuck her back in, if she gets up a third time say nothing and tuck her back in and if she gets out of bed four or more times repeat the third action. You should also try bonding with her a bit more during the day such as taking her for a surprise trip to the zoo, after all I loved going to the zoo when I was little.

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    This is a problem for you or you would not be concerned.

    You, as you said, allow this to happen. It will continue to happen as long as you continue to allow it to happen.

    You are kidding yourself about using the "bonding" excuse. I bonded with my children OUTSIDE of my bedroom during every moment possible when we were home together. We colored, played with blocks, Legos and kiddie games. We sang nursery rhymes and went on a walk. We grew a garden together. They even helped with household chores so they could learn and be responsible one day. THOSE are times parents bond with their kids. NOT in bed, while sleeping!

    You need to establish a bedtime routine and be consistent about it every single night. Kids NEED structure. After dinner, after playtime, after bath time...bring her to her room and bond with her over a story book. Tuck her in, turn off the light and tell her, if she gets out of bed, you will tuck her back in. Then do it, regardless of the time or if you should wake up and she is in your bed. Let her dad know the bedtime rules in advance and you BOTH sit her down and tell her the new bedtime routine. Then, you BOTH stick to it and be united in this together to break that bad habit you created.

    Fast forward three decades....my two sons are adults now and very well adjusted. They do not have abandonment issues, mommy issues, or personality disorders.

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    This reminds me of a story that a friend of mine told to a small group of us at work.  She and her husband had to sneak out of their bedroom to have sex in the guest bedroom because they couldn't get their six year old daughter to sleep in her own bed yet.  Among my actual family, I have a sister who didn't get her children out of her bedroom until the age of 6 and 8.  Even having the two of them share a room didn't work because "mommy" wasn't with them.  

    Basically - there is no way to predict WHEN your child will outgrow this stage.  The concept of a "family bed" is great when a child is very young, but, as you are now learning, the parent is usually ready to move the child to their own bed before the child is ready for their own bed.

    You have two choices.  Either let it continue until it comes to an end naturally or take the time and effort to help the child adjust to their own room.  This may mean a few nights of crying or going to her room several times. Every time you give in and let her return to your bed - you are only teaching her that if she cries long enough, she will get what she wants.

    You could also try bribing her.  Create a "rewards chart".  A sticker goes on the chart for every night that she sleeps in her own bed all night.  If she earns enough stickers, she gets a prize.  The prize can be anything you think would be enough encouragement to keep her in her own bed.  

    The only way to get her in her own bed sooner rather than later is to stick to the program.  It might be tough, but it can be done if you don't give in to her crying.  

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  • 2 months ago

    You might be okay for now but shouldn't let a 6 or 7 year old toddler sleep with you anymore .

    • Edna
      Lv 7
      2 months agoReport

      @Tomalochk:  How many more times do you have to be told?  A 7-year-old child is NOT a toddler. A toddler is a child who is one to three years of age. A 7-year-old doesn't "toddle" when he walks; he can walk upright with no assistance & he's old enough to already be in 1st grade at school. 

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  • 2 months ago

    Things will change as she gets older, if you want her to sleep in her own bed then be consistent with a bedtime routine and stick to it. Otherwise, if the only reluctance you have is because of other people, ignore them and do what is working for your family right now.

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    She's a CHILD. She's a toddler who wants to be with her mom. I don't see why this is so wrong to you or your family. Soon she'll be at an age where she would be too embarrassed to do anything with you.

    Please spend time with you daughter, engage her, let her sleep with you occasionally if she wants to. Of course, you and your husband will need privacy, which is the main reason why she's better off sleeping in her own room.

    What you can do is tuck her in, read her a story or something to help her fall asleep and so that she doesn't feel alone in her room. 

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  • 2 months ago

    The only way she will outgrow this is to stop reinforcing it. Put her in her own bed, let her cry if she needs to, and don't give in. She is way too old to be sleeping with someone else now. She also doesn't need a lot of toys, lights, etc, as those will just keep her stimulated and will not allow her mind to start resting. Tell her in the morning that tonight she will be in her big girl bed, remind her later in the day, and once her nighttime routine is done, just put her to bed and keep her there.

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  • y
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    I remember this battle, those that insist the child must sleep in their bed verse the family bed concept. If you are married and the child is preventing, disturbing the marriage. Then the battle to make them sleep in their own bed is necessary. Many couples find the only time to communicate, to share, is bedtime/bed. If that is the case, you could be putting the marriage in jeopardy.  If the child in your bed is not conflicting with the any of that type of crap, then is it a big deal?

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  • God
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    She's only 3 years old!  She will outgrow it.  Pick your battles.  When she is a rebellious teen you will look back fondly at these innocent times.  Enjoy the journey. 

    Source(s): Been there, done that and have the T-shirt to prove it.
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