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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 month ago

My boyfriend won't stop pressuring me for sex at school?

So I'm scared to talk to my friends about this so I have to come to the internet. I hang out with my bf after school sometimes because of extracurriculars. But whenever we're alone he always wants to touch me and things. I don't want to do it because we're at a school and that's wrong. I keep telling him that but he keeps asking until I feel like I have to say yes. I gave in yesterday... I'm terrified of getting caught... I feel so dirty. I don't know what to do. I love him and I don't want to hurt him by telling him no. I don't know what to do. I hate myself. 

100 Answers

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  • 1 month ago

    Leave him he sounds like he sounds strange.

    • J1 month agoReport

      agree 100%

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  • 1 month ago

    DUMP HIM !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  He only wants you for one thing and has NO right to pressure you into anything.

    • J1 month agoReport

      EXACTLY

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  • 1 month ago

    Your boyfriend wants you to have sex at school??

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  • Orla C
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    He's pressuring you to have sex with him? This is coercion, harrassment .... if he genuinely cared about you, he would NOT be doing this. 

    Girl, tell your parents, have them call HIS parents, and they will sort this out. And you should break up with him. He's bad news. Boys need to be taught that sex is not something they are automatically entitled to. 

    • ...Show all comments
    • Nickname
      Lv 4
      1 month agoReport

      And his parents had nothing to do with that sexual predator? Doesn’t even have decency to wait until she is out if school and they are engaged

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  • ron h
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    you really need to make "not now" work.  If you're found doing that at school, both of you will be disciplined--either suspended or just kicked out.  And your parents will be told what you were doing for him at school.  Like it or not, you'll be a lot more embarrassed than he will.  The odds are that his parents won't like him messing up at school, but it will be forgotten if he's not expelled.  YOUR parents will be unhappy with the consequences, but they'll also likely be really disappointed. .

    .

    You have to say no and mean it. 

  • 1 month ago

    So what is your question?

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  • 1 month ago

    If he is not respecting your boundaries, he doesn't need to be your boyfriend. With that being said, you need to clearly establish some boundaries. Tell him no. If you establish healthy boundaries and he doesn't listen to them, you really need to run for the hills. If he's going to run over your boundaries during a dating relationship, what do you think will come later? He won't listen then either. It is better to be single than to be in a controlling relationship. Or a relationship where you don't feel safe. Or a relationship where you don't feel free to express that you are uncomfortable. 

    Also, I know everyone acts like virginity is lame and sex is just a casual thing. But it's truly not. Saving yourself for marriage (even if you have had sex in the past) is a way to respect yourself and respect others. You don't have to have sex to be accepted--and if your boyfriend is making you feel like you do, he really isn't a safe person to be in a relationship with. 

    This is a great message on sex and dating/relationships. I recommend that you give it a watch! It helped me a lot! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHAcHA2wlqU

    Youtube thumbnail

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  • 1 month ago

    if you ever feel you have to, its partly cuz you also want to, only partly. as long as its private and not exhibition, its not really so bad. but there is still a limitation not to exceed.  that specific boundary not to cross.  if you keep letting him, you are only ever telling him its kinda ok and he shouldnt stop asking and trying.  cuz you kinda like it and are only afraid of getting caught. if you really want him to stop, you could law down the law. give him the ultimatum that if he doesnt stop, and set a immediate deadline, you will break up with him cuz of lack of respect.  if you dont, you actually kinda enjoy it and dont really want him to stop.  you have the power, use it, or dont, its all up to you.

    ps, he could also be into exhibition.  talk to him about that to and how you feel about it.  there are certain things i like that my wife dont. such is life. i love her more than that stuff so i let it go.  hopefully he loves you more than that also. 

  • 1 month ago

    You aren't going to hurt him by telling him no. Just think of the embarrassment of getting caught and what might happen to you. Tell him he wouldn't be doing this to you if he really cared for you. You can also tell him if he doesn't stop it you are going to quit staying at school late. If all else fails, tell him you are going to break up with him because you aren't going to do it anymore and if you can't handle it good bye. Don't let him pressure you into doing things you don't want to do. See how much he loves you.

    • J1 month agoReport

      EXACTLY what I would do, completely agree.

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  • blank
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    Sorry you are going through this.  First - STOP hating yourself.  There is no reason to.

    You clearly are an intelligent young lady with her head screwed on correctly.  What you are going through, sadly, is not uncommon in high school years - but that does not make you wrong by any stretch.

    Bottom line is you should NEVER, EVER, feel pressued into doing something you are not comfortable with.   Even once you are married to someone, YOU still have the final say about what and where YOU chose to do anything.

    Explain this to your bf one last time.  Literally tell him he either chooses to support your wishes in this - or it is over.  IF he really cares about YOU (not what he can get away with doing to or with you) he will be cool, understand and support you choice.

    Finally note - even if you are in private, off campus, you STILL have the right to say no anytime you want.  Not suggesting you MUST say no (that is your choice, just be safe - k?).   Just saying you NEVER have to say yes, regardless of location.

    Good luck. 

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