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Don't I deserve something? ?

My fiance was married for 18 years to ex. Both made excellent salaries.  He doesn't have a long life expectancy due to heart problems.  He told me his 401k worth over 1 mil goes to her. So does 1/2 mil life insurance.  His 1/3 mil house and savings goes to kids. I will be his wife  taking care of him as he fades. He doesn't feel the need to include me in anything financial. Because of his current health he'll never get a life insurance. We are in our 50's. Don't I deserve something especially since I will care for him when he's sick.? 

Update:

I have a nobel, yet low paying career.  She made almost as much as him plus I suspect she has her own 401k. I have no money compared to either of them.

Update 2:

I'm not marrying for money. I waited my whole life for him. He has the life insurance policy from 18 years ago before heart problem diagnosis. I just feel as his wife and eventual caregiver I deserve something. 

12 Answers

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    If you don't like his terms on this don't marry him. You don't get to walk into a situation with your eyes open and then complain about it. He's making it clear that you won't inherit much on his death. The choice is yours as to whether to stick around for that. I don't even need someone else's money and I wouldn't marry a guy who's already telling me he plans to die soon.

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  • 1 month ago

    *****, you get no love! 

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  • d j
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    Yes you do deserve to be taken care of financially. 

    When you married him, you didn't accept him with conditions and neither did he. 

    You are his wife and you need to do your part and so does he. 

    His divorce didn't come free. You're feeling bad about losing money from his pocket. 

    For a moment consider this; he gave up his hard earned money and financial security for you back in the day. 

    He lost it all to get you then. 

    I think it's rude of you to find taking care of him as a burden and also you're hoping to get anything back in return. 

    Value him for what he already did for you. 

    Right now he's not in the capacity to do so. 

    • ohshyte1 month agoReport

      We're not married yet. I'm going into it no matter what. I know full well I will be taking care of him but he's worth it.

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  • n2mama
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Do you know that the 401k wasn’t included in the divorce agreement, that she would get it if he died first? It’s very possible that was the case. Of course his kids should get the house and savings, they are his children (and presumably anything he leaves to the ex will eventually go to them as well-also appropriate). I don’t know if he has the ability to change the life insurance beneficiary or not, if he can’t that’s one thing, if he doesn’t want to, that’s a different thing.

    The way you have asked this, you absolutely look/sound like a gold digger. If you want to marry him, then marry him. Make him use his considerable assets to hire a nurse to care for his declining health. Or don’t marry him if you expect a payoff when he dies.

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  • 1 month ago

    Sooo...you married him for financial gain? Then no, you don't deserve a thing. You're supposed to care for your sick husband because you love him, not because you want his money.

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  • 1 month ago

    If he isn't giving you anything then don't offer any help. 

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  • Lili
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    If you marry him, you will have certain legal rights. If I were you, I'd check on that before you actually do marry him. See a lawyer.

    But why would you WANT to marry a guy who is so attached to his ex he'd leave you nothing? Either you're a fool or a troll.

    • ohshyte1 month agoReport

      I'm not a troll. Trying not to be a fool. I just want to know my rights.

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  • 1 month ago

    So you're just waiting to marry him, what were you doing waiting for a married man? 

  • 1 month ago

    if u re just his "fiancée" u deserve nothing as u re nobody to him legally. but if he upgrades u to his wife I m sure u will get 50% of everything will or no will after he dies. especially if he leaves a will. and his ex wife will get nothing

  • 1 month ago

    Don't marry him then if you were just hoping he would die soon and you'd get rich.

    Sounds fake to me though. especially the part where he will never get "a life insurance" but already has a half million dollar policy

    • ohshyte1 month agoReport

      I'm not marrying for money. I waited my whole life for him. He has the life insurance policy from 18 years ago before heart problem diagnosis.  

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