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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 3 months ago

Do girls really need affection 24/7?

A while ago I was dumped because I wasn't affectionate enough.

Last night, my mate got dumped for the same reason.

I was 25, she 31

My friend 25, his ex 29.

I can't speak too much about my friend, but in my case I did show her affection. I complimented her.

It wasn't until she was breaking up with me that she decided that I wasn't affectionate enough in public.... (she got hugs/whenever I tried to hold her hand, she had her hands in her pockets, I even tried to kiss her in public once but she said she didn't like that)

I brought her a gift of chocolates too....

My ex was VERY insecure.

Are people that need hourly compliments insecure?

My current girlfriend seems OK, and doesn't need constant affirmation.

Surely me and my friend were unlucky and picked two insecure women to date?

7 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    3 months ago

    Yes we do, my boyfriend is failing

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  • 3 months ago

    It sounds like you didn't do much in the way of communication. Did you, at any point, ask what she wanted? What sort of affection she enjoyed? it's perfectly possible she wasn't a fan of holding hands, but wanted other displays of affection. In which case, you think you were being affectionate and she thinks you weren't. Neither of you are wrong, you just didn't communicate what you wanted and were willing to do clearly.

    • Tom3 months agoReport

      Yes. I asked her. She didn't know. When I ask what she wants from me or a relationship she didn't know. Unfortunately she suffered from very low self esteem, I tried to help her, but she did nothing to help herself. 

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  • Alan H
    Lv 7
    3 months ago

    All people are different.

    But a little affection goes a long way 

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  • Anonymous
    3 months ago

    It really depends on the personality this women have.

    Personally, I don’t need constant validation or affection. However, sometimes without noticing people act short, or uninterested and this can make you feel unwanted and insecure. For example, let’s say she texts you saying “morning love!” And you reply with “hi”, then after a while she starts being affectionate and showing you how much she cares, but for some reason (had a bad day, are bored, or just not feeling it) you are brief with her and don’t reciprocate what she’s doing/saying. That could make her feel as if you don’t want her attention, or as if she doesn’t deserve her feelings to be reciprocated. I’ve had that happen to me, it’s hurtful, and when people don’t notice they’re doing it you feel weird, because how can people not notice when they’re hurting someone’s feelings? 

    Just try to pay attention to your actions, I’d say, and it will be ok. 

    If your girlfriend was insecure, it’s very likely she needed you to be there for her? Idk. It’s hard to speak for others 

    But that could’ve been it 

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  • Ana
    Lv 6
    3 months ago

    Your past girlfriend was just making up an excuse to dump you for another guy, unfortunately. Her claim was completely incongruent with how she acted. If she wanted more physical attention, then she would not be avoiding holding your hand and stuff

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  • Nobody
    Lv 7
    3 months ago

    The needy ones certainly do, and it can be very annoying too.

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  • 3 months ago

    Mate let me tell you something about women, don't believe a word that comes out of their lying mouths. She dumped you because she was into someone else, or she became repulsed by you because you became too nice or something, her excuse of not enough affection is a load of rubbish, just understand the nature of women they are born liars. Be thankful you have a woman now that at least seems okay

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