promotion image of download ymail app
Promoted
Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingParenting · 1 month ago

With being a 1st time mom to a toddler, how do you guys handle tantrums?

I'm looking for ways to include in my handling of his behavior issues. He has ADHD just like his father and I. I spank his bottom and tell him why his behavior is unacceptable. Directing his attention to something else doesn't really work that well. 

Update:

He's pretty smart for his age so I know he understands to a point.

His tantrums usually involve banging his head, smacking himself out of frustration, crying like someone beat him with a brick, laying on the floor and kicking while screaming, he's bit me a few times.

Usually occurs when told no, he can't verbally tell us what he wants quite yet (still learning to talk), his grandparents or I leave the room and he can't come with, take something he shouldn't have.

Update 2:

For those who are asking his age, he will be 2 this July.

13 Answers

Relevance
  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

     Children have times when they test parents patience; especially at your child’s age. At 2 years old; they are transitioning from being catered to 24/7 as a baby to being a little more independent and having to be obedient to simple requests. The change can cause then to throw tantrums. But there is help and practical advice that has helped other parents in your position. The link below leads to an article called, “How to deal with Tantrums.” I hope this helps you deal with the tantrums. 

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • 1 month ago

    That depends on its age , if this is a toddler over 5 years old there would be a different way of discipline compared to a toddler under 2  .

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • 1 month ago

    When kids are at the stage where they have a lot of things they want to express but are not able to use words, there can be a lot of frustration.  As he learns more words, the tantrums will slow down if he is not rewarded for having them.

    The best ways to deal with tantrums are either ignoring the fit, or removing the child to another safe and secure location until he is done having the fit. For our girls, it was a playpen in another room.

    Never give in to a fit and give the child what he wants. This *reinforces* fits and makes them more frequent and last longer (if I scream long enough, mom will give in).

    He does not have ADD or ADHD.  A normal attention span for his age is one to, at most, three minutes.

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    You really need to have your son evaluated for Autism, because some of what you describe are classic Autistic behaviors. And I suspect that at his age, he has no idea what he's being punished for. You are asking way too much of him right now.

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • What do you think of the answers? You can sign in to give your opinion on the answer.
  • Tulip
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Toddlers don't have ADHD did you diagnose this yourself???

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Look at how a doctor treats adhd on South Park.

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • 1 month ago

    Maybe you need to get yourself some mental help and therapy before you screw your kid up for life. Spanking...? Get a clue idiot.

    • ...Show all comments
    • Ranchmom1
      Lv 7
      1 month agoReport

      Strangely, I never was and managed to somehow grow up to be a responsible adult. Go figure.

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    First of all - never - and I mean NEVER give in and give him whatever it is he wanted.  This is a MUST to ending the tantrums.

    For me, ignoring my kids worked the best.  When the tantrum was over, I would say something like "did that get you what you wanted".  After just a few tantrums, it never happened again - because it didn't work.

    If he is still small enough to be placed into a playpen when he has a tantrum, you could try that.  Just put him in a safe space to let him finish his tantrum.  

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    How old is he? You're making him sound autistic.

    Has he actually been diagnosed with ADD at age two? That would be unusual, but not completely unheard of. The head-banging can be concerning, especially if it's not moderated by the child. There's head "tapping", and there's head "banging". It's not all attention seeking, some people do manage to break their own skulls.

    The slapping behavior is also odd for a "normal" child, I believe. Biting and kicking are fairly typical.

    Anyway, if you haven't had him evaluated by early intervention, you might want to consider having that done.

    My four year old is diagnosed with autism and add. It doesn't make his behavior bad, but it does make it much harder for him to communicate, and his emotional responses are exaggerated and prolonged.

    I do a few things to manage tantrums and help prevent them from turning into meltdowns:

    - Reduce stimuli. Turn off the television. Keep any screen time to a minimum. Keep loud bright toys to a minimum. Keep the child's environment calm.

    - Never give in once you've made a decision and said "No.", even if the kid tantrums for an hour.

    - Prepare the child for transitions. Let him know when his time with a toy is almost up. Do a countdown before you take it away. This gives him a little extra time to cope. Same thing when leaving a playground or switching from a desirable activity to a less desirable one.

    - Create a "time out" space. Not for punishment, just a designated place the child can go to calm down. When my son was younger, it was a pack and play. Now, it's a bed in his play room. I put him there calmly and stay nearby, then I'm ready with some fun activity for us to do together after he calms himself down.

    I don't believe that striking a child helps them cope under the types of circumstances that you've described. Imagine you're very upset about losing something you really wanted. How would you react to being hit because you were upset?

    I will only give my kids a little swat on the bottom if they're doing something dangerous and redirecting doesn't help ...trying to stick things in an electrical outlet, for example. It's more to get their attention and break their focus on the activity.

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    Beat that @$$. Parents beat mine whenever I'd beat my head, pull my hair, and bite. I'm glad they beat my rear because I'm respectful and I don't fear my parents for it.

    No one wanted to beat that rear when my cousin was growing up except for my mom. He knows better to disrespect her because she'll still beat his rear. He continues to disrespect his parents though. Now he's a criminal and on drugs.

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
Still have questions? Get answers by asking now.