Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 4 months ago

Is this nasty?

My husband recently hit me with an extremely low blow in my book.  I can't seem to get past it. His comment was particularly hurtful, unprovoked, and bizarre. We were at his family's home for a birthday party. We hadn't been arguing, we hadn't had a disagreement. NOTHING. He was behaving strangely. Not himself. Wouldn't engage in conversation. In fact he avoided everyone. This is so uncharacteristic of him and people began to ask where he was. I had no idea so I called him and asked him to join us. He came and sat at the table next to me. Seated with us at that same table were three of his brothers. his dad, his step mother, and our youngest daughter. We were all enjoying ourselves talking and laughing. Out of nowhere he says to his dad (referring to me), "yeah I'm going to have to put her to work here soon." Then he continued "got any yard work you need done?" No one laughed. Everything went quiet. We weren't even talking about anything that would have made sense for him to interject that comment. I shot him a look and he quickly dropped the subject. He quietly tried to reassure me that only his dad heard him so I didn't need to be upset. I was completely blindsided and hurt. Where did that come from? I wanted to disappear. We have only known my husband's father and his wife for two years. Which is why a comment like that was especially awkward and embarrassing. My husband apologized on the car ride home and maintained he was joking. I am overreacting?

3 Answers

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    4 months ago
    Favourite answer

    If you're not earning enough to pull your own weight around the household he's probably resenting it. If you've got a teenage daughter you're likely not a SAHM raising preschool aged children. So while this wasn't the forum to say it in you do need to have a conversation about his seeming resentment of you not contributing enough.

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  • David
    Lv 6
    4 months ago

    Yes, you are overreacting. He was joking. The joke flopped. He embarrassed himself. On top of that, he NEEDLESSLY apologized to you, when there should have been no apology necessary.

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  • Anonymous
    4 months ago

    Is this the same husband you’ve been posting problems with for over three years or did you divorce #1 and this is #2?

    I thought your in laws created all sorts of problems.

    Do you work? Does he not want to argue with you so he dropped the “work topic” when other people were around? I have no idea what the “yard work” comment meant. Are you not qualified for some other type of work?

    I would have asked him right there what he meant. You didn’t, so ask him now. An apology doesn’t quite explain what he was talking about.

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