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Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsOther - Family & Relationships · 3 months ago

Why do some people get angry at their adult child for having sex in the home. Would you rather them have sex in a car or somewhere illegal?

Like for example if the adult child is living at home for reasons like divorce they are in college but they have a boyfriend or girlfriend it's unrealistic to expect them to be a virgin or to never have sex. Adults have sex it's a part of most relationships. Of course some people are asexual but most adults like to have sex. You cannot have a healthy sex life in a car and some people can't afford hotels especially if they are in college and in school full time. The parents who expect their adult child to never have sex or kind of weird to me to be honest. I feel like as long as the adult child has the door shut and isn't having sex in front of the parents what's the problem. Having sex in an actual home really does enhance the experience

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  • 3 months ago

    I can't comment on a specific situation, as I don't know the details.  But the anger could be because of the disregard for house rules, whatever those rules might be.  For example, just because some households think smoking indoors is fine, doesn't mean that parents should put up with their child's smoking in their house, even if the child is old enough to legally do so.  Part of being an adult is respecting the rules of the residence.  Another part of being an adult is having the courage and independence to move out of a parent's house if the situation doesn't suit.

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    3 months ago

    Some people are just anti sex, or anti outside of marriage sex. This is usually a result of their religious tenets. But practically speaking some parents might think a college aged person whose tuition they're paying should be focusing more on the insanely expensive educational opportunity and less on their social life. In the divorce scenario, especially if there are kids involved, this is someone who needs to take some time outside of romance to get their emotions in order. So there are valid reasons for thinking both these cohorts can just masturbate if they need to. Not saying I'd have this attitude when my kids are older. Just that you can easily see why an older parent who's paying all the bills might take it badly if the person they're trying desperately to launch out into the world is instead busy rooting and partying.

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  • Ocimom
    Lv 7
    3 months ago

    We have rules in our house - "if you are not married, then you can't have sex or have anyone sleeping over of the opposite sex as long as you are in our house".  I don't care what your age is.  If you are an adult, then you accept our rules or you move out and get your own place.  If you can't afford your own place, that means you don't have sex in our house.  Its about respect, not about lack of sex.

    Growing up, I would NEVER dreamed of bringing home a guy to my parent's house and sleeping with him in my room.  I respected my parents too much to do that.  

    • Ace Shorty
      Lv 7
      3 months agoReport

      Yeah but times have changed since then. I would not have brought a girl home either but I would've let my boys bring a girl home if I liked her.

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  • Anonymous
    3 months ago

    My response will go beyond the "their house, their rules" reply that everyone else here has put up.

    I can think of other reasons why parents may not tolerate their adult kids having a sexual relationship in their house. One of the major ones has to do with differences in attitudes about sex and morals across the generations, which can be pretty vast. The parents may have grown up in a time when sex was something that was either rarely or never discussed, and when attitudes surrounding sexual behavior were very different than the ones their adult kids were raised with. The parents may have been taught to believe that the only people allowed to have sex were those who were married. For anyone else, it was a either a sacrilege or a sin. Then there's whole notion (which is still common in some places) of women being expected to remain virgin or chaste until their wedding night. Seeing an adult child go against that standard may be upsetting to some parents, and they don't want it to happen in their home.

    There are also some parents who simply don't want or aren't able, for whatever reason, to recognize that their children are adults with lives of their own. This is more of a problem with women than it is with men, because women are still expected to be caregivers to their parents as the parents age in some places. Parents may also have the fear that their adult son or daughter may get pregnant with an unwanted child, and that they'll be stuck with the responsibility of raising a grandchild they didn't want or plan on having.

    All of these things can be reasons why some parents will refuse to permit their adult kids to have sex in their home.

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  • 3 months ago

    I enlisted in the Navy right out of high school, when I was about 20 y/o I got engaged, my fiancé lived in Florida, I was stationed in Coronado Ca., and traveled everywhere.  When ever I came home on leave my mom and dad were happy to see me and had no problem with my fiancé and I sleeping together in their house in my old bedroom.  My mom would even ask, if we were headed to my room, “Do you guys need your privacy for a couple of hours, I’ll make sure no one disturbs you?”

    My point, it’s all different with different families.  Also, the home I grew up in was pretty large, 2 story about 4K sq ft.

    If you cannot reach some sort of compromise it’s on you to follow the home owner’s wishes, regardless to the fact that they’re your parents, it’s their home.   

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  • Anonymous
    3 months ago

    So your fine with adult children disrespecting their parents rules just because they can't control their urges like horny teenagers again? if the adult child has any respect for their parents rules they would find another place to have sex or risk being kicked out for breaking their parents house rules. 

    So deal with the rules or get the **** out

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  • Tj
    Lv 7
    3 months ago

    Wait until you are a parent. You will feel different. Itsd one thing to have sex at home, when parents are NOT home, but not while they are home.

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  • tony
    Lv 7
    3 months ago

    save money and go to a hotel,its called respect. Since it's their house, you should respect that. you need to respect your parent's wishes while living under their roof. If you don't like the rules, change your location; you can do anything you want when you pay the rent and that goes for hotels and Bed & Breakfasts as well...

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  • 3 months ago

    No sleepovers.That encourages young people to find their own places. :-)

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  • Anonymous
    3 months ago

    Their house their rules.  It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.  If you don't want to get criticized and told what to do then find another place to live. 

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