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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 1 month ago

Was She being rude? or am i overthinking?

There is this girl that lives in our apartment complex and she was opening a door to leave. Usually people here at least sligihtly prop the door open for the other person to grab but this girl pushed it enough for herself to get out. Maybe she thinks low of me or something? Or am I overthinking?

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  • 1 month ago
    Favourite answer

    Important to remember other people may not necessarily share your perspective, so while you may always hold open the door for others, there is no obligation for others to do the same.  Chances are this person is not deliberately targeting you, but rather this is her general, every day behavior.

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  • 1 month ago

    You'd be surprised at how some parents don't teach their kids manners, so they grow up not giving any consideration for others. She probably doesn't have any manners or at least no door manners.

    Maybe she was just super annoyed thinking about how no one ever holds the door for me so i'm going to make it a point to not hold it open for others this morning and see how that goes, yeah, she could have been in a funk that day.

    It could be that she was thinking of other things and didn't think of the next person behind her.

    It could be that she has an issue with you, who knows.

    Either or, this sounds like a "her" problem and not really yours. People do messed up things for a reason but it's most always done from their own issues, nothing to do with you.

    You were a bit annoyed but try to believe what I said above. Also, tell yourself, I know I did nothing to her so, this is a her thing and so i'm just going to release it and let it go.

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  • 1 month ago

    you are totally overthinking this.

    Maybe she was in a hurry, maybe her mind was elsewhere, maybe she wasn't even aware that you were behind.

    This is more about YOUR low self-esteem. Someone doesn't hold the door for you and you immediately assume that is because they don't think much of you.

    You need to get this situation into perspective girl !

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  • 1 month ago

    Door etiquette ranges from extreme courtesy to totally ignoring the other person. Usually it isn't about YOU, it's more that the discourteous person has something on their mind and isn't paying attention to anybody else.

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    i think you might be overthinking it

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  • 1 month ago

    Overthinking. Some people really don't pick up on social niceties like that, leaving those who do constantly fretting and taking things personally when it's a simple oversight. Or, not an oversight and she just doesn't like people that close behind her... I've been know to push the "close doors" button on elevators before when I didn't want people too near.

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  • JuanB
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    building safety 101.  Maybe she didn't recognize you right away.  

    But no, people tend to NOT let random people into the building, that is why the door is locked and there is an intercom.  Last thing you need is to let in a criminal like a burglar, rapist or murderer.  Even letting in a solicitor can be frowned upon.

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  • g
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Overthinking. It may have had nothing to do with you whatsoever.

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  • 1 month ago

    You may be overthinking it and expecting too much from everyone to meet your standards all the time. People can be polite and still sometimes self-serving and still think of you in the highest regards.

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  • 1 month ago

    Not everyone is brought up the same.  Sometimes people are oblivious to other people.  Rude would be for her to close it on you knowing you were coming and so is pulling the door closed.  

    The other question begs, is if she does this often? If often, then maybe rude.  But if this is a one time thing and she doesn't really know you and you don't really know her, then potentially you are overthinking this.  

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