promotion image of download ymail app
Promoted
Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingParenting · 2 months ago

What is an appropriate cut-off time for texting my child’s mother?

She got custody taken and only has supervised visitation once a week (which turns into once a month because she never wants to make time to see her.) She asks “what is she doing?” (My daughter) or “how is she doing?” every few days. Typically it’s after 7 PM. I feel like if you’re genuinely concerned about your child, you’d text everyday and not past 7 PM. 7 PM and beyond she’s getting bathed/ready for bed as she’s 2 years old. Would it be appropriate in the eyes of a judge to just not respond when she texts this late? 

8 Answers

Relevance
  • Roddy
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    You don't ever have to respond immediately to a text message unless it is clealry very urgent.

    Carry on getting your young daughter to bed. You can reply to the text after she is settled, or even next morning.

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • 2 months ago

    the day is over and anything that happened that day would be what you would tell her. Since its every few days, what is wrong with telling her all is well and turning off your phone.

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    If you have full custody, you have no legal obligation to return her texts.  The only thing that is required of you is to not stand in the way of the supervised visits ordered by the court.  So not responding to her texts about any other subject is completely reasonable.

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • 2 months ago

    I'd respond bathtime now, storytime now, bedtime now.

    I'd say 7pm is a busy time for us.

    I'd suggest a time that works for you....like home at 5pm, dinner 530...

    So 530 6pm is a better time so i can answer.

    Of course you could always reach me in the morning. At X time...

    I'd be letting her know your busy raising a child.

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • What do you think of the answers? You can sign in to give your opinion on the answer.
  • 2 months ago

    Does your custody agreement say you're required to answer texts within a specific timeframe?  If not, just tell her ahead of time that you're turning your phone off at 7 pm, so if she texts after that you'll answer the next day.

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • 2 months ago

    She's not texting the child though is she? Perhaps she thought after 7pm, your daughter would be asleep so it would be convenient for you to respond to her.

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • 2 months ago

    I think I'd try to bring it up with her before just not responding... or even take the initiative and and send a quick text at the same time every evening. Whatever you decide, you really ought to let her know that you will not respond to texts after 7 pm (or whatever time) because that is when the bedtime routine starts.

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
  • 2 months ago

    Forget the text messages here for a second, lets focus on her not even showing up for  her visits with her daughter!

    Your ex is playing games here, that's what this boils down to! If she genuinely wanted a relationship with her daughter, then she would make the effort to show up for ALL visits! It sounds like your ex wants to control things, she doesn't like being told how to interact with her daughter so instead she chooses to walk away, her texting you is her way of controlling the narrative.

    I think you need to just put your foot down with your ex here! You are the sole parent here, you set the rules when it comes to your child, do NOT let your ex call the shots here, like she is trying to do. I think you need to let her know that she has weekly visits with her daughter and if she wants to form a bond with her, outside of that texts are to be done no later then 4pm, and they only relate to video calls with her daughter and/or in case of an emergency, no more of this game playing on her end.

    • Commenter avatarLog in to reply to the answers
Still have questions? Get answers by asking now.