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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 1 month ago

After a relationship finally ends, is it common to wonder what you're gonna do afterwards?

So a rather long relationship I had with a woman has ended. And while it does hurt, it is what it.

At this moment, I do not know what to do with myself. I'm thinking about the next girl I meet, but I have to be honest that I do not want to be with any other girl right now. Part of me is still very much with my ex.

And I know if I were to get involved with someone else, while I'm still carrying a torch for my ex, basically it would amount to using the next girl, and I do not want to do that. That wouldn't be right. I know other people do that all the time, rebound, but I wanna hold myself to a higher standard.

I am trying to get back to having more of a social life again, and getting back to just staying busy, but at the same time a big part of my life is gone. And right now I'm like: "Where in the hell do I go from here?"

That question kinda scares me to be honest.

Update:

Lacking a social life and a purpose happened after I lost my job 4 months ago.

Update 2:

When you are on a limited income, you have to cut back significantly. That includes having a social life.

3 Answers

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    This is why it's best to stay single for a while after a breakup. It's not fair to the next person if you're still stuck on the last one. So work on yourself, spend time with friends, travel, invest yourself in your career and your health. Take the time you need and don't pressure yourself to get back into the dating world until you're ready for that.

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  • 1 month ago

    You're doing what's best for you right now, because if you'd get all involved with someone while you're still emotionally attached to your ex, you'd be with the person for all the wrong reasons. People rebound and use a new person as a sounding board, for attention and affection and to feel good about themselves again. But usually, there's not the emotional connection they desire, the ex is always on a person's mind, and they haven't healed.

    Maybe get involved socially (meetup.com?). Meetup is a social website where people in communities get together to share like interests. And do things with friends, family. Maybe start a hobby or work on one, joint a softball team or bowling league (just examples).

    You're going to be ok. It takes time to heal and to get our lives back together after a break up

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  • LP7
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    So losing your job have anything to do with losing your girl?How long was the relationship?How old are you? these questions are important to understand where you are emotionally and mentally.You can start with your friends(social) and work/job opportunities.It's sounds basically like a whole new life.One door closes and another opens.Be optimistic about it because you will be meeting so many new people and visiting places perhaps you have never been before.You are older and hopefully wiser and have a future to consider.All positives.I get the limited income scenario but it also teaches you to be discerning and careful about how you spend your money.At least you don't need to buy flowers,chocolates,perfume for a significant other.Time to assess your priorities,strategize and make plans.It will start to come together and be very exciting for you.

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