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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 2 months ago

How do I make up to the family for causing my mom to be estranged from her father?

My grandfather was an alcoholic and my mom tolerated it until I was born. Because of my birth she wanted to protect me and so she became estranged from him and disowned him. I feel so guilty that I caused this by my birth. My grandfather was an alcoholic and my mom tolerated it until I was born. Because of my birth she wanted to protect me and so she became estranged from him and disowned him. I feel so guilty that I caused this by my birth. I know he’s responsible also but so am I as I was the icing on the cake even if I was not the original problem.

He died when I was 16 but to this day I feel so guilty and I’m 41. How do I make up to my mom’s family?

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    2 months ago
    Favourite answer

    maybe you can contact them and tell them what you just told us

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  • 2 months ago

    Sigh.....I would say you have mental issues, dude. Get some therapy.

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  • 2 months ago

    Ok so you have zero understanding about what a person goes through growing up in an alcoholic home. Alcoholics can be totally abusive, uncaring, absent emotionally and worse. Your mother lived with that for years. And then she had you.

    She decided you didn't need to be exposed to that mess.

    It isn't YOUR doing. Your mother made a decision based on her shittyAssed childhood experiences. I did the same thing. My father was a nightmare alcoholic. why would i want my kids around someone like that? I did not. My decision.

    My kids did not miss out on a thing. They had other, sane and sober relatives in their lives, all of their lives.

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  • 2 months ago

    Your mom protected you from your grandfathers demons. You are not a fault for your grandfathers problems. She was dealing with him for a long time before you was born. After you was born, you have her insight about life. She wanted better for you. So you make it up to her by being a better man that your grandfather was.

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  • 2 months ago

    You are NOT to blame. Repeat: YOU ARE NOT TO BLAME ! That you continue to feel guilt and responsibility, for so many years, strongly suggests that you could benefit from therapy and should be in counseling with a licensed professional therapist. Please follow through, it will be a great relief and help to you. Good wishes,

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