Hen Do/Bachelorette party dilemma?

Long story....

As the girlfriend of the best man I've been invited to the hen party. I know the bride but we're not that close we only really know each other because our other halves are best friends. Dilemma is the groom, best man and "Jim" are a trio of friends but "Jim's" girlfriend has not been invited. I'd feel bad going to the hen do when she's not been invited as I am closer to her than the bride. I would feel more comfortable if she were there as I only know 2 people who are going and I don't know who I would share a hotel room with if she wasn't going. The thing is I don't know if the person who is organising the hen do even knows the "Jim" and his girlfriend exist. Would it be rude for me to ask for her to be invited? 

I don't know how well I've described the situation. I'll edit if anyone has questions. 

13 Answers

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  • 1 month ago

    You cannot invite someone to an event which you are not hosting.

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  • 1 month ago

    Go to the Hen Do organizer and state that you are friends with the groom's friend, Jim''s girlfriend. But before you ask her to share a hotel room with you, you want to know if she is on the Hen Do invitation list.  This way, you find out if she is invited...or not.  AND, then you can decide if you want to go or not.

    A Hen Do overnight celebration is going to cost the atendees hundreds of dollars each,between hotel fees, traveling, entertainment and meals. 

    I am so glad my friends and I are older and past all of those bridal financial hardship expectations, just because someone is getting married....keeping in mind that 50% of marriages end in divorce. Sorry, I do not mean to  e a bummer, but the entitlement issues of some brides and or their planners are ridiculous.

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  • Ocimom
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Its not your place to invite others to a party.  Go to the party if you want to go.  If you don't feel comfortable, then decline going.  I would hope that Jim's girlfriend is invited to the wedding!

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    what in the heckaroo is a "hen do"??

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    • Jerry
      Lv 7
      1 month agoReport

      "Hen" is the female equivalent of the slang expression "stag," meaning men only. 

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  • drip
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    Why are you spending the money to go on this over night hen party? When you really don’t know the bride.  If you don’t know the bride well or anyone that will be there politely decline the offer. Thank them for thinking of you 

    Since you don’t know them well I would not ask to invite another 

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    All you can do is ask.  They'll either say yes or no.  If your friend comes will you be sociable with everyone who is already invited...  I think it's a little rude of you to want to invite your friend to have someone to talk to when the most important people will already be there.

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    I wouldn't make any waves since your connection to this 'do is in and of itself sort of a friend-of-a-friend thing.

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  • 1 month ago

    You're mixing up to issues:

    1. Whether or not to attend a party when you don't know the guest-of-honor (bride) very well.

    2. A person you believe should have been included was not invited to a party that you were and a party that you are not hosting.

    Whether you attend or notes up to you.  Go. Don't go. The bride doesn't care.  Your friend who wasn't invited probably doesn't care.  Your boyfriend may care.

    You are not responsible for the guest list of a third-party. You are not the arbiter of who should and should not be invited. You are all adults.  A true friend is not going to hold it against you if you attend.  If you feel guilty, that's all in your head and a choice you can make.  

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    • Dr. Stephanie
      Lv 7
      1 month agoReport

      So, perhaps you should write about having "social anxiety", and ask how to cope with being there, without your friend. 

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  • 1 month ago

    There is no dilemma. It's not your party, and it's not appropriate for you to comment on the guest list. If you don't feel comfortable going (and personally, I think a whole weekend with strangers sounds like Hell) just decline the invitation. 

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    • Dr. Stephanie
      Lv 7
      1 month agoReport

      It also sounds like you are being asked to spend a whole lot of cash, unless everything is covered for you: hotel, food, gift, transport, entertainment?

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  • 1 month ago

    i dont see anything wrong with asking if you can go

    • Dr. Stephanie
      Lv 7
      1 month agoReport

      She isn't concerned about asking for herself, its for her friend.

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