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Anonymous asked in HealthWomen's Health · 2 months ago

Tried having sex on two different instances. But both times it didn’t fit. Do I have vaginismus? ?

I tried having sex for the very first time. It didn’t fit. Few months later tried again. And it didn’t fit either. 

I really like my guy and do want to have sex wit him. But I’m not fully turned on. The first time we didn’t actually have any foreplay. The second time he tried kissing my breasts loads etc. but I wasn’t turned on. Also the lights were off so I couldn’t see him, didn’t make me feel turned on either. 

Both times I was on my period. We didn’t use lube. 

Also, I’m a virgin and have never penetrated myself nor have I used tampons (always used pads)

Lately I’ve tried fingering and can fit one finger in.

In the future I think I’ll be able to fit two in. 

I’m really freaking out now. Do I have vaginismus or was it that I’m a virgin and just not turned on enough 

How can i make sure that he’s able to penetrate me soon! I’m worried this is having a negative effect on our relationship. The next time I meet him I want this to be able to work.

6 Answers

  • :)
    Lv 5
    2 months ago
    Favourite answer

    This seems to be a common question in this category.

    Unless you have tried EVERYTHING (PROPER foreplay, lube, etc) then don’t even consider vaginismus. Vaginismus is not a common thing. Most of our bodies can handle sex/birth just fine.

    Sex commonly hurts the first few times due to your muscles down trying to acclimate to this new activity, and due to nerves. It’ll ESPECIALLY hurt without proper fore play. Every girl has erogonous zones on their nipple s/aerolas, neck, ear lobes, inner thighs, etc. google the rest of these zones. Get nice, dim lights, maybe light a candle, and relax. He needs to take at least 30 minutes with foreplay, until you’re used to it. He needs to take his time kissing you, and perhaps perform oral sex and maybe even finger you a bit. Clitoral stimulation does it for most girls, although I’ve always been more of a penetration girl. Still, experiment with stuff. Sex does NOT need to be the main event. Have him slip in his penis when you’re aroused and ready. Consider using artificial lube the first few times. Never be ashamed to need to lube. You probably won’t always need it. 

    If you’re of drinking age, I find that sex is amplified after 2 glasses of wine. 

  • 1 month ago

    do it when not on your period so he can give you oral to get you wet

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  • 1 month ago

    It sounds that you were nervous and you weren't turned on. Of course no one can diagnose you through internet, but the fact that you have been able to introduce yourself one finger doesn't sound like vaginismus.

    Try to have lots of foreplay w your bf and use lube.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    You just need a mature male who knows what he is have sex with a few times. Your guy needs to have a condom on because from what I have read, the egg comes into your uterus midway of your period and a males; sperm will still be potent for 5 days. And this withdrawal stuff doesn't work so good, it feels too good to take it out.

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  • 2 months ago

    If you were not sexually aroused, this was the biggest part of the problem. When we are sexually aroused, our bodies are ready to receive sexual intercourse. You're either anxious or not that into him at all. I vote the second option

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Foreplay is fairly essential as is lube. Share a bottle of wine too. If you still have a problem see your doctor. But my guess is it's case of nerves.

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