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Husband of 5 years wants divorce because found out I did 7 years in prison.?

Was busted for prostitution, drug possession with intent to deliver. We have been married 5 years. Love him so much and has been the greatest boyfriend and husband. He has own business but still makes time for us tell this all came out. He even helped me open my own studio which had been a life time dream that thought would never happen. Way he found out I ran into someone from past and they mad a comment which opened this whole mess

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago
    Favourite answer

    Answering as an Ex-Con with Two Felony Prison Terms I'm not entirely unsympathetic.

    But who's kidding who!?,,There are few people that are more FOS than the kind that say "You didn't ask so I didn't say anything so technically I didn't Lie so WTF is the Problem?"

    After all, I'm sure you don't need to be told or reminded that there always at least Two places where somebody with that kind of Shi*ty Track-record in their personal resume would be well-advised to be Forthcoming about it.

    One is of-course "Employers", to-whom "Less then Forthcoming" is always gonna be considered 'Less than Honest' to such a degree as to often justify FIRING your A*s!

    And, as you're currently finding out the hard-way, "Personal Relationships" that are anything but the disposable-kind,,since after-all again,,who's kidding who!? 'Less than Forthcoming' until a few seasons after the frkn Honeymoon Sh*t-STINKS so much like Deception & Manipulation that few can argue that it definitely has the makings of a Deal-breaker. 

    Thus, the reason the last words I spoke to fellow inmates as I left the Pen were "You DON'T Know Me, You've NEVER Seen me and if you ever see me on the streets & as much as act as if we've ever had anything to do with each-other I'll Kill-ya!

    But, that's not to say that I've ever been less than forthcoming where it counted, even though it's not exactly the kind of thing I'm inclined to mention on Resumes or Speak of to make a good first impression on somebody I wanna date.

    But as a rule, I always brought it up during job interviews & never considered going out with anyone more than Once or neglecting to mention it at-least sometime before the foreplay got started. 

    And now you know,,that YOU Shouldn't have Either.                                                                         But 5 years is a long time to invest in a relationship, so maybe things aren't as bad as you think, so good luck, & in the future for Christ's Sake just OWN it like anything else that's as intimate-o-part of your past-life as that scar you never show anybody but was never exactly a secret as the foreplay started!

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  • 2 months ago

    Yeah, that sucks.  But despite your best answer, I might know something you really want to hear.

    Marriage is a binding legal contract between two parties, right?  Right.  And in any legal contract, misrepresentation or non-disclosure of material fact(s) will void that contract, right?

    Wrong!  Material misrepresentation (the legal term for lying) or non-disclosure (the legal term for lying by omitting the truth) will void any contract EXCEPT a marriage.  A legal marriage is the only contract that gets a free pass from that little technical proviso.

    If you have to, use any means available to you to dig into your husband's past.  Within hours if not sooner, you'll find something in his past that he didn't disclose to you.  Whether or not it's the equivalent of 7 years in prison is irrelevant, because it's there and he never told you about it.  As the Olde Englishe Proverbe says, in for a penny in for a pound.

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    I did not see a question?

    but you fished for comments ......  you did not have to tell him details but should told him basics 

    how it has not come up in some legal matter is hard to understand

    the crime is kind of gross.... BUT it is more common in some fashion or form 

    Women with need for financial help often resort to extreme flirting leading to help and sex. 

    as well many of us have had many sexual partners bit for fun not money.. that is not a great secret but there is no reason to make a list. 

    Selling drugs is a whole other mess and that with not telling him leads to a worry your are not to be trusted 

    So I assume the question is if he leaves you ,, try and be more upstanding in this next life movement 

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  • 2 months ago

    I can't say I really blame him, it had to be a shock to him to find out about this. Too bad you didn't find him sooner.

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Yeah, sad story. Honesty is the best policy, no matter what. Having said this, thank God you met this man, and you are where you are becuz of his love. You were unfair, and cannot blame him, theres enough blame here, just accept it, ask his forgiveness, and pray and thank him, and say all you have said here. You cannot do things in deception like this, and expect good. You are mostly to blame, this man may make up or change his mind, right now hes been deceived by you. humble pie and acqueiscing to the divorce, without acting the victim, since he is, the victim of deception by you. If you truly changed, you will take it and apologize.

    This marriage was built by you on mistrust and deception, theres no contest here. Only love will bring you thru at his understanding. Hes hurtbad.

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  • 2 months ago

    That’s unlucky he found out, some stuff you gotta keep to yourself. I was a bit stupid and started seeing escorts because I couldn’t make it happen with normal girls. I finally found a normal girl, she was hot and we clicked but then she found out and didn’t wanna take it further. I never told her about this, I was so open about it with friends and I guess mutuals spilled it over. Just gotta accept its a scar but it’ll fade over time. 

    Also look at your other questions, why are you a different person for each Q?

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    You are 100% mistaken. You are the one who made your own mess, so this is all your fault. Nobody told you to sell your kitty, and your two fatty sacs (.)(.) if this is what you sold, and to do the other stuff too. Those were your choices you made, and apparently you made a bad reputation without realizing it.

    I am a male by the way.

    • Lian2 months agoReport

      I’m not surprised that you are 

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  • 2 months ago

    He must be devastated that he is married to a woman who didn't trust or respect him enough to tell him these things. You can't have become very close before or during your marriage if there is a seven plus year gap in your life story. Reading books like Dr Phil McGraw's excellent Relationship Rescue helps to give us deeper insights into how relationships work. (I wish I got commission, as I recommend it to so many people!). There are other excellent books, of course. You could also suggest some couples therapy if he will countenance that, which is probably unlikely, but you need to try. We cannot change the past, of course, but he may need time to come to terms with being treated so badly by you in this respect. Good Luck to you both. 

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  • 2 months ago

    Nice try! This isn't true.

    • opinionated
      Lv 7
      2 months agoReport

      agreed, this would have came out the 1st time they did anything financial, get a loan, credit card, buy a house.

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Why did you never tell him about this?  I don't think it's at all surprising he wants to divorce you, because this isn't some minor detail.  You were in prison longer than the 2 of you have been married!  That said, it's a little surprising nothing came up in convos about a big chunk of your life that was missing.

    There's no question here, but if you're asking what to do, it depends how serious he was when he said he wants a divorce.  If he just found out recently and this was a reaction, he may need some space from you and obviously you give him as much time and space as he needs.  If you're saying he's already served you with papers and he's not open to discussion about it, then it sounds like you need to sign those papers and give him what he wants.

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