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Anonymous

My brothers wife died suddenly and my boss won’t let me have off ?

I got a phone call Wednesday night that my brothers wife died just a week after giving birth to their daughter. She started hemorrhaging suddenly at home. She was rushed to the hospital but unfortunately did not make it. (There’s more to this story but for reading sake I’ll leave it at that.) My brother and his wife live in Texas and my grandmother and I are actually in New York. My grandmother can’t really fly alone she’s 96. I

 explained to my boss that I need to go to back Texas to be with my family. (I just returned back to work Monday from being in Texas the week my niece was born.) 

He is refusing to allow me to go because it is not “immediate family” he says he’s very short staffed with 2 people in our department out. They are still making arrangements for her funeral What do I do?!? My grandmother unfortunately won’t be able to attend the funeral either as she’s old and doesn’t like to fly alone. Do I skip out on my brothers wife’s funeral? Can anyone offer me any advice? Do employers not realize that “real life” happens? 

19 Answers

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  • 1 month ago

    You have 2 choices:

    Quit and go to the funeral

    Go to work. 

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  • Katie
    Lv 6
    1 month ago

    A lot of employers will ONLY grant you time off for the funerals of your parents and siblings and NOT the partners of your siblings.

    My dad was only given 2 HOURS off to attend my grandmother's (his mother in law's) funeral.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    If you just took off for the birth and already need to return, the boss is probably wondering what's coming next.

    If you're very close to your family in Texas, it may be better for you to live closer to them. Either that, or count on switching jobs here and there. Because unless it's your own child or your own wife, employers are not likely to be accommodating.

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  • 2 months ago

    You can insist on taking unpaid time off, since you're accompanying a handicapped person. Generally you only get 1 or 2 days off for family members that are not immediate family. The rest would need to be unpaid time.

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  • Eva
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    You do not skip out. If at all possible, they should schedule the funeral for Saturday. Then you could fly down on Friday and back on Sunday or Monday to minimize the inconvenience to your boss. As you say, things happen and it's not your fault that there are 2 other people out.

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  • 2 months ago

    Employers understand, but their businesses cannot be held hostage to everything that happens in an employee's life. A line must be drawn somewhere. Life is full of tough decisions. You'll have to make one here.

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  • 2 months ago

    A sister in law is immediate family. Anyhow, you either skip the funeral or just tell you boss that you have to go, your grandmother can't go without you, you have no choice, this is what families do for one another; and go (yeah, you might get fired).

    In other countries he would have to let you off for this, by law, but sadly not in the USA. However, if you don't go then this is one of those things that might bug you for the rest of your life.

    • DEBS
      Lv 7
      1 month agoReport

      Be mad at individual states, but this is absolutely not something that is or should be the responsibility of the federal government. 

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  • DEBS
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    I would weigh the likelihood of not having a job when I came back and how easy and quickly I could find another one. Then I would tell my boss that I was going. Try to minimize the missed work. Also look at company policy, if there is one, on bereavement. It's not for your boss (just some low/medium level manager,I'm sure) to decide who is immediate family (whether that's in the policy or not.)

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  • arther
    Lv 4
    2 months ago

    its your family you're going it might be time for a new job. Ive left a couple of jobs over the years to goto family funerals its not like you can go next time. The boss doesn't own you.

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    stand up to him tell him family comes first he may even respect you for it.

    if your job is in any way skilled or if it will be hard to replace you then you have the advantage.

    if you are a burger flipper then what's the problem just find another job.

    don't underestimate what a pain in the butt it is to replace someone especially if they are good at the job and reliable (usually).

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