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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 2 months ago

How to deal with attention seeking receptionist who tries to be everyone’s boss? ?

We hired this woman almost a year ago. She’s not in charge of anything. (Except maybe ordering supplies. Which she got in trouble once for spending too much company money.) She seems to think she is in charge. She’s just a receptionist working in an office full of licensed agents. Yet she is slowly trying to take hold of the office. 

I have overheard her use a very snappy tone with our boss more than once. She’s incredibly disrespectful. She constantly gripes about every little smell she picks up in the office. Perfume, lotion, and even windex (when I clean my desk off.). She constantly wants all eyes and ears on her. If she says something she thinks is funny, and no one laughs, she gets offended and makes a snarky remark. If she comes up with a “great” idea and it doesn’t take hold, she gets offended. 

If you try to have a private conversation with someone, she turns her chair around and listens. Even giving unsolicited comments. She tries to orchestrate what everyone is doing. But has free range herself to be as loud as she wants. Do what she wants. Use whatever scents she wants. 

I joked one time about how I didn’t have time to plan a big event that was stressing me out.  I said “I’m gonna just do it at work since I’m here all the time. Haha.” She says “well, not during work hours. You can do it on your break. There’s important work to be done at work. ” Ok? Duh. I was joking. And who the hell put you in charge? 

Update:

She walks around like she owns the place, but she’s literally lowest on the totem. I’m tired of her nonsense. I don’t really interact with her unless I have to. But she gets offended by that. What is her deal? And how do I deal? 

Update 2:

Oh yeah! And she’s a classic gaslighter. She will act aggressively but when you say something to her, or go to the boss about it. She will deny saying “you took it the wrong way. I wasn’t meaning it like that.” 

Update 3:

And the reason I ask this is because this makes the office environment hard to work in. I’ve been with this company for much longer than her. I’ve been through its ups and downs and these people are like family. It effects me to see her ruin this office’s culture.

15 Answers

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  • mom
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    you all should get together and decide to fire her because she is not doing her job. she has no right taking over everything and getting into everyone's business

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  • Lisa M
    Lv 4
    2 months ago

    You say 'WE hired her...' so that means you had a say in the hiring. If so, you have a say in the firing. Talk to your boss about it and suggest straight out she should be spoken to, then if she doesn't modify her behaviour, she should be let go.

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  • 2 months ago

    There's a word for this type of individual, it's cockalorum. There are many mean spirited petty people who grasp at any opportunity to make themselves more important than they are. I get the impression that all the things this cockalorum does that irritate you, you allow her to do. Why?  I have seen this type of behavior practiced by many people who are offended or hurt or insulted and try to ignore or pretend that it doesn't bother them, and I have never understood why they don't do the obvious. Every time she buts in, eavesdrops, tries to be authoritative, or offends or insults you in any way TELL HER!!~!!!!   You don't have to be nasty, although Mamawisdom gave you some good advice by giving you examples of what to say to put her in her place. But just say it bothers you when she attempts to listen to private conversations or tells you to do or not do things that are not her purview or responsibility. I'm sure she will be offended. That's okay. Unless she's hopelessly stupid, eventually she'll get the message. As to your boss, perhaps he or she doesn't want to offend her either, or doesn't like confrontations. Of course, there's the other choice, which is to find other people who feel the same as you do and go to your boss and tell him that she's ruining the morale and the camaraderie  or the workplace. Surely he or she wouldn't want to make it unpleasant to work there.  But really, the best choice is to not put up with it. If she lacks the authority to dictate actions to anyone TELL HER SO!! And if she offends you in any way tell her that too. You don't have to put up with it. Stop being nice to an insulting overbearing .......um, rhymes with which.

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Your boss clearly tolerates this so all you can really do is try to avoid her as you can.

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  • Carmen
    Lv 4
    2 months ago

    Pray for a calm heart and peace of mind so your job won’t be in jeopardy if she decides to tell half truths concerning matters to the boss usually people like her hang theirselves if they are given enough rope what does the boss do or say about what she is doing? How many workers have went to the boss about her bossiness etc? Is she involved with the boss and that’s why she thinks her position is secure? 

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    • Carmen
      Lv 4
      2 months agoReport

      She can pray for courage to if she like all comments are just that not a debate or nothing to get upset about considering it's for the person who made the post to decide if comments are helpful or not .

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  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    you could talk to your manager about it

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    "I have overheard her use a very snappy tone with our boss"    Obviously her boss knows exactly what she is like and is fine with it.

    "How to deal with..."   You're dealing with it just fine.     Life is full of people we don't like.   So what?   You won't break or die.   If you really hate it that much, you're free to find a different job.

    "We hired this woman almost a year ago."   No.   Your employer hired this person.  You are not her employer, manager or supervisor but I'm getting the impression you think you should be. 

    "but she’s literally lowest on the totem"  That's a phrase that is offensive to many people and would be considered a violation of the workplace anti-harassment policy. 

    "It effects me to see her ruin this office’s culture."  Hmmm...I'm guessing a change in workplace culture may be appropriate. 

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  • 2 months ago

    Does she do her job?

    If so, its not your problem beyond you allowing it to be.

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  • 2 months ago

    To clarify, the people who hired you also hired this receptionist.  You, along with other people, work in this office but are not the receptionist's boss.  Your options are as follows:

    1. Speak with your boss.  Let them know that you find this person's behavior unprofessional and detrimental to the office culture.  Don't expect much since the boss clearly doesn't feel as sensitive as you do, but at least you are addressing the concern with someone who can do something about it.

    2. Talk with other agents and see if you can get several of them to do the same thing or go as a group.  You may find that everyone is irritated or you may discover that you are the only person who takes offense.

    3.  You can choose not to be offended.

    4.  Make a joke out of it instead of being all butt-hurt.  "Gee, Lisa, who put you in charge? "   "Thanks Lisa, so good to know you have time to put you nose in other people's business."  Sometimes you just need to say it.

    5.  Find a different office to work for.  If you are an agent of some kind (real estate, insurance, etc.), you can find a different company or office in which to work.  If you are the only person in you office that can't deal with this receptionist, you aren't going to get support or action to change things.  That means you are not a good fit for the office culture in which you find yourself.  

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  • 2 months ago

    Oh boy. You got yourself a whiny narcissist.

    I'm not sure I have any helpful advice except if quite a few of you feel that she is toxic tell your boss's but he or she may or may not do anything. If say limit your interactions with her as much as you can and try to ignore as much as you can. Sorry. Some people are just annoying but not bad enough to get fired.

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