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I caught him watching porn . . . . again?

I recently posted a question about my husband's thoughts about my weight gain and how he doesn't find me sexually attractive anymore. Last night after I went to sleep he was laying next to me watching TV then he turned it off and rolled over. Knowing my husband he likes to play on his phone a little while until his sleep meds kick in. At one point I rolled over and when I saw his phone he was watching some sort of porn clip. When he realized I was watching he quickly switched to something else. I didn't say anything but this morning I asked him about it and he seemed to get on the defensive. He said first of all most people watch porn, especially men and secondly it makes me look bad to be asking him about it. He said that men don't want to be asked what they were watching or even why. He then asked how i'd feel if he just started watching it in the open right in front of my face. Why doesn't he understand that with his comments on my weight the last thing I want to see is him watching porn with some with some young, attractive, thin, fit woman. Was I wrong to ask him about it or bring it up this morning?

31 Answers

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  • 2 months ago

    Are you exercising yourself? You'd be better off to watch it with him and get him excited, then have sex with him or move on, you're going to cause yourself to have a nervous breakdown. However it doesn't make you look bad to be asking him about it? Have you ever been into oral sex?

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  • 2 months ago

    There is obviously something not right here but think of it like this, would you rather him satisfy himself or go out and find another woman to satisfy him??

    I would 100% rather my partner sort himself out than actually go out and have sex with another woman. 

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  • n2mama
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    He thought you were asleep. You knew what he was doing, and you know why. What was the point of asking him about it? The two of you enjoy a co-dependent mutually resentful relationship that neither of you is willing to do anything to change or end. You both just prefer to post complaint after complaint about the other on here. So pointless.

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    you are using his behavior as a excuse for your behavior THAT IS BAD 

    let him find you watching porn and invite him to watch with you.

    my wife gained lots of weight the people is not that.. the problem is all the lack of sex and

    you expect his to be other than your sex partner

    if you never let him go to bed without sex he would be happier 

    My wife has gone through attempts be better,,, more sex more variety

    then she gets back to just plain unhappy tolerance with makes sex worse than no sex  

    I suggest you watch porn and than act on it 

    -----------------------------

    I will add this it is a movie and if you watch other movies,, your are doing the same thing  those chick movies are destructive to marriage because it gives women  unreasonable expectation of relationships.... at least most people know porn is fantasy not real life... 

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  • Ocimom
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Men who are in satisfying marriages where both are eager to please the other have NO need for destructive porn watching.  Its NOT good and its NOT something "every man does".  If you were keeping him satisfied and he was doing the same for you, then there would be no need to watch other naked people having sex.  IMO its cheating as your thoughts and actions are directed on another naked person that is NOT your spouse!

    • snack_daddy10
      Lv 6
      2 months agoReport

      Your thoughts and actions are directed to other people in: TV show, movies, music, books and the News.  Jeez, if you broaden the definition of "cheating" that level then your post here is cheating too, because you thought about someone else and then took the action of writing them.  

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    He's correct in that a lot of men watch porn. But him not watching porn isn't going to suddenly make you attractive to him if you've let yourself go to the point of obesity. Whether your marriage is able to weather this episode or not is less important than you getting healthy. Make a plan to lose the weight and stick to it.

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  • 2 months ago

    First of all, if you're overweight, you already know it and you don't need to be reminded. If you want to lose weight, i'm sure you will. I have no idea why people think it's helpful or kind to tell someone else they are overweight and unappealing. We all know what we look like.

    As far as men watching porn, it's just part of their nature. It doesn't matter if their wife is a model or if she's a bit overweight, if she's pretty or average looking. Watching porn has nothing to do with a man's partner. It's adult entertainment. And shaming a man for his basic nature? That's not very kind, either.

    I can't understand why women do that. I also can't understand why a husband would have to tell his wife she is fat and/or unattractive. Both of these things are unkind.

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  • 2 months ago

    Your husband is right.  All men and most women look at porn.  If you don't like porn, don't look at it.  Problem solved.

    There are two types of men in the world:  Men who watch porn and admit it, and men who watch porn and lie about it.  There are no men who don't watch porn, so stop pretending your husband is doing something wrong.  

    Stop making this about your husband.  You're the one who has a problem with your weight, so deal with it accordingly.  If you don't want to lose the weight, get some professional help in accepting it.  Your husband's comments wouldn't have done anything to your self esteem if you didn't agree with them.

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  • Girl
    Lv 4
    2 months ago

    I know it sounds really superficial and I'm sure your hubby does love u but looks do matter to men and if you want him to desire u more u gotta lose some weight and get in shape or at least wear something etc to turn him on

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  • 2 months ago

    Aint nothing wrong with watching porn, if ur that insecure then make ur own home ade porn, i doubt he will watch it though cause them women are not fat and outta shape, they take good care of their bodys so they can look good on camera.

    I would try to make my own porn though!

    • david
      Lv 4
      2 months agoReport

      awesome answer

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