Could I have handled this better?

My husband and I are taking my son on a small weekend trip for his 21st birthday. My Mom came over the other day and put a check in my purse for me to find, it was a little contribution to the expenses of the trip that she wanted to surprise me with. The next day I cleaned out my purse and didn't see the check and I must have thrown it away. Today she asked me if I got the check (it's been several days and I hadn't acknowledged it). I told her no and we determined that I must have accidentally thrown it away. I apologized over and over, I feel like an idiot. She seems irked at me. "I guess that's what I get for trying to surprise you!" And has not offered to give me another check. I don't NEED the check, I booked the trip based on what I could afford, but is it odd that she's not offering to write another check? It's not like it was cash that I accidentally threw away.

10 Answers

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  • Edna
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    Why would you expect your mom to write you another check?  If you're that careless,  you would probably "accidentally' throw that one away too. 

  • 8 months ago

    Your question doesn't make it clear whether you ever SAW the cheque at all. Did you see it, and then it got lost? or did you never see it at all, and are relying on your mother's word that she did in fact place the cheque in your purse?

    I think your answer to this might help us solve the problem.

  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    She sounds like she feels you are careless with money.  If you can afford the trip, does it really matter?

  • 8 months ago

    If your purse is anything like mine, I might never find a small piece of paper that someone else put in there.  Between the store receipts, the crossword puzzle pages, the day's mail, and so on, chances are it would never be noticed.

    Recently my husband came to me and showed me a check from his father (now deceased) which would have gone a long way to propping up our budget at the time.  Oh, well ...

    Perhaps your mom felt that you no longer needed that money, since your trip was already over.  I imagine she'll be generous when the next gift-giving occasion rolls around, and wiser about it too.

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  • G R
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    No it is not odd, she likely changed her mind.

  • 8 months ago

    is it possible she re-thought the check and removed it herself?  maybe she really couldn't afford it and did a last minute grab for it...but thought you might have seen it and mentioned it.

    or maybe you were talking about something and she got ticked and removed it?  I just have this funny feeling she took it....or why wouldn't she offer to write a new one?

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    maybe shes afraid you'll lose it by accident again

  • 8 months ago

    You could have handled it better.  You could have thanked her when you found it rather than waiting for her to call you.  You could have admitted to finding it before and being careless rather than allowing her to believe she was partly at fault.  

    Because she didn't owe the money to you, she is under no obligation to replace what was lost.  And it sounds like you were apologetic for losing the check, but didn't offer appreciation for the gift in the first place, thanking her for it or her effort to surprise you.

  • 8 months ago

    T wasn't smart that she secretly put a check in your purse. Maybe we'll intentioned but not a good idea.

  • 8 months ago

    Yes it is quite odd that she has not offered another check in my opinion.

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