Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsWeddings · 1 month ago

What do you think of these options?

I Love my FH family and I have been estranged from mine once for three years... I have always wanted to disown my family but in the past they used my children against me.

I was thinking of inviting them to the engagement party to tell them they are no longer welcome in my life or at my wedding.

I could write them each a long letter or email explaining why I no longer welcome them in my life.

Or things could stay the same and I can avoid them all the time maybe seat them way in the back of the church at the wedding.

My children are older now and they see things like I do now.  My son told me he doesn't ever want to go to another family reunion...and I am glad.  My family is full of rapists murderers liars and thieves some of them sold crack and have been to prison.

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago
    Favorite Answer

    Your family certainly does sound awful!  But it's kind of scary you're old enough to have older kids and yet it crossed your mind to use your engagement party as a way to publicly trash your fam.  That makes you almost as bad as they are.

    Your other options sound better, but I'm curious what you're hoping to achieve by sending a letter or email.  Aren't they already aware why you don't like them?  I ask because the timing is so suspicious where the wedding is concerned.  If that's part of this, it's a bad idea.  This is your fiance's wedding, too, and I can't imagine him wanting all this drama surrounding him.  

    The other issue is that, if you're not sure how you feel about inviting them, you need to know this first before sending or saying anything.  You don't want to tell them they're history and then have a change of heart and invite some of them. 

    Finally, the best option might be to simply not invite them and not contact them.   Nobody should ever assume they're "owed" an invite to someone's wedding, and this includes family. 

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  • 1 month ago

    You sound like a lunatic. 

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    kepp care!For furture do that again!

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  • 1 month ago

    Your engagement party is about you and your future spouse.

    It's NOT an opportunity for petty family politics.

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  • 1 month ago

    I would just maintain the boundaries you have, why stress yourself and the loving family you do have just to try to get something over on people who aren't healthy for you? You don't have to go to reunions, you don't have to invite them to parties or weddings, just move on with your life and if someday you are wanting a connection, acknowledge you want the connection--- because it's okay to want your family, and go about it in a healthy, adult way instead of possibly passive aggressively or otherwise just throwing fuel on any fires.

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  • Eva
    Lv 4
    1 month ago

    Why do you feel the need to include them at all? It would make all your other guests uncomfortable for you to confront your family in front of them at the engagement party or wedding. It would also detract from what is supposed to be a joyous occasion. Don't invite them at all. Later, after you're married, if you want to clear your head by writing them, go ahead.

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  • 1 month ago

    You could spare yourself all that extra work and bitterness while approaching you wedding by simply not inviting anyone you don't want to be there.

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