Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingParenting · 4 weeks ago

How do I make up to daughter for missing part of her performance?

10 year old daughter had band performance where parents or family was supposed to come up at the end and learn how to play the child's instrument for the last 5 minutes (was not mentioned by instructor until the very end of performance, not ahead of time). My daughter was the only one out of 30 kids who didn't have anyone up there because husband took youngest to bathroom and I missed it because I was looking for youngest a bathroom to use. Then, someone I knew when I was a kid came and started talking with me and I missed the last 5 minutes and the instructor asking family and parents to come up to learn from their child. My daughter was heartbroken being the only one up there without family members. We came home and she is extremely upset. I feel terrible, but I also feel the instructor should have told us ahead of time so we would have made sure one of us was there to be with her those last 5 minutes. I apologized, but I'm so embarrassed and sad for her. How do I make up to her for missing this? I guess just forget about it now and make sure to keep an eye every second during any other performance. Sometimes it sucks being a parent.

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  • 4 weeks ago
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    Yes, unfortunately you chose to chat with a friend, and you should, of course, have ensured that the toilet stuff had been sorted before the performance. You explain to your daughter that people make mistakes, and obviously you are very sorry for letting her down. No doubt you have apologised. We all have disappointments in life - many of them! Don't we?! She'll get over it. There will be other performances, etc., and you will do your best to get to as many as you can. When she is a parent, she will do the same. Try not to let her milk it too much or your life will be a misery! Good Luck!

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  • 4 weeks ago

    By apologizing, the exact same way you do so for anyone else, and the way others do for you when they disappoint you.  You can't change the past (remind that fact to your daughter) but you can change the future by make a more focused effort next time.  Now stop beating yourself up over this as that isn't helping anyone.

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  • 4 weeks ago

    Why did you need two parents to find a bathroom for the youngest?  Why didn't you tell the old friend "hey, let's talk in ten minutes, the performance isn't over yet"?  Sure, you explain to your daughter that you messed up.  That Daddy should've been able to handle the bathroom alone, or you should've handled it alone so Daddy could watch the performance.  That you should've told your friend to wait a few minutes while you acknowledged her performance.  Apologize profusely, and acknowledge that it was a deliberate choice, not an accident. 

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  • 4 weeks ago

    just tell her it was an accident and they didnt tell you ahead of time they would need you there

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