Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 8 months ago

Is this the hedgehog dilemma I’m experiencing right now? And what is your advice for me?

I’m in love with this girl. But for an odd reason we can never manage to be together for an extended period of time. We break up and 1-2 months later she hits me up to talk and we’re back together. We are in loop 3 right now and the same thing keeps happening.

We text each other a lot, but I’m always the one to ask to hang out. When I first started dating her, I thought that’s kind of normal but after dating for weeks and having a real good connection she still rarely asked me to hang out. So, we talked and we decided to split. After a month she texted me all of a sudden to invite me to her house to have a talk. We talked and the old sparks came back very quickly. I know that she really values her independence and freedom and I respect that, but it still sucks considering that I want to see her more and it feels really weird to be the one to always initiate a meeting. So, after she invited me to her house we got back together, but this time I made sure to not always be the initiator. As a result, we didn’t see each other regularly. I thought she probably lost interest in me and I also got a little fed up with it and I ended it once again. 2 months later the cycle repeated itself and she texted me again. I agreed to meet her to figure out why this keeps happening. She claims she loves me. The only thing I know is that her previous relationship was very toxic and he spread false rumours about her and all in all really hurt her, maybe that’s the reason she always pulls back. 

2 Answers

  • Steve
    Lv 5
    8 months ago

    She could have flashbacks and feel really down you know, because of him. You could just show her that you are trustworthy and it will take time for her to get over it.

  • 8 months ago

    what is your advice for me? - easy . work out what is it that is causing to constantly break up and get together again.. Sort it out or the cycle will continue.

    This is a toxic situation and cannot continue - one of you needs to walk away if you can't sort it

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