Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsEngagements & Weddings · 8 months ago

Wedding venue help! - heart or head?

We were set on a venue, I loved it despite it being quite expensive. It is a beautiful venue. However it is not without its faults. The caterer is quite pretentious (for me, its not my style) and there is no on site accommadation (or any very close by that is reasonnably priced). .The venue is a 45 minute drive from most guests.

I now find out its leeds fest that weekend and this increases hotel charges in the area even more.

I feel I cannot ask guests to pay so much, or to drive so far, for pretentious food, just because I love the building. Furthermore, it is slightly restricting with rules/regs as it is a very old grade1 building.

Our second choice is slightly cheaper, not by much but includes more in the package. It also has onsite accommodation, nowhere near leeds fest, but would require a church (previous venue I would have had the ceremony there). The food is, in my opinion, better. and the commute is 35 mins from most guests.

My heart is in love with venue one (despite all the compromises it comes with) and I have done so much research into it and suppliers. However my head knows the other is a better deal and would make guests happier/more likely to come (especially evening only guests).

Help :(

14 Answers

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    Kudos to you for considering the comfort and budgets of your guests. Far too many to-be-marrieds don't do this and people do resent it when they have to spend a ton or travel too far for a wedding. Go with the venue that's going to engender the most emotional support for you and your intended. A fancier building isn't worth knowing everyone in attendance thinks you're a bridezilla/groomzilla.

  • Kelly
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    Myself, I would go with the second one.  It seems they have more to offer overall and is more accommodating to guests.  Plus, you have more cons to it than you have pros.

    75% of my guests needed to travel a long way to attend my wedding so for my reception I focused more on making things convenient for them.  We got married in Michigan, where we lived and I'm from but my husband is from Texas.  Half of my guests live 2 hours away so it was a commute for them too and almost all of his did.  I opted to have our reception at a hotel that was close to the freeway and close to other hotels if they opted to stay somewhere else.  It also was only a few miles from where we got married.

    How familiar are you with the areas you're looking at?  I ask that because your guests will be asking you who aren't.

    Myself, I'm used to traveling for weddings so neither would bother me.  However, I can also afford hotels, the commute and I don't drink.

  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    Six of one, half a dozen of the other.

    I see no reason why anyone needs to spend the night because of a 35 or 45 minute drive.    I certainly wouldn't.

    Have the wedding early enough that you don't expect your guests to stay late in the evening.  They can drive home, sleep in their own bed, take care of their kids/pets and don't have to pack a bag or waste two days on a five hour party. 

  • drip
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    Your first option. 

    Traveling 45 minutes isn’t that big of a deal when the whole ceremony and reception are at one place. I would not think twice about driving 45 minutes.  Do many guests need to spend the night or do most live only 45 minutes away? Caterers usually work with you. Can’t you ask for something more simple for the meal?

    Option 2

    Almost all the weddings I have been to in the last five years have had the wedding and reception at the same place. As a guest I really really like this.

    Can you get a church in the area? How much travel time between the church and venue? How much time between the ceremony and when the reception starts. Nothing worse than an hour+ wait between the two for guests. I mean where do you go?

    If a good portion of your guest will actually need a hotel room. Then option 2 is your better choice.

    No option 3? A venue with accommodations or hotels near by and where you can have the ceremony and reception together? 

    A budget is necessary. Set a budget and stick to it.  Getting the more expensive venue means cutting back on other expenses to stick to the budget. 

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  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    Seems like you know what you should do.  Take the high road and go with your head on this one.  Of course you want to have the dream wedding and it's a once in a lifetime event so you may become swayed into thinking it's worth it.  I can assure once the bill comes you will snap out of it.

  • Eva
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    Follow your head. You and your guests will be much happier.

  • Steve
    Lv 5
    8 months ago

    Well, the right answer is the 2nd choice. You can stare at the 1st one until you have had enough and celebrate with HAPPY guests at the 2nd one.

  • 8 months ago

    Obviously Venue 2

    Unless you can find a third venue that you like better than #2 that's not as inconvenient as #1

  • edward
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    My wedding was held in a sky view ballroom in a hotel just outside the city. They gave us a great deal and we got married after the wedding season. So we had rented almost 2 entire floors for guests and they gave us a great deal on it. Because we bought so many rooms they gave us a discount. Try that

  • Rick B
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    You pretty much have nothing good to say about venue one except that you are (for some reason) in love with it. The second venue is the obvious choice. Or, find a third option.

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