Is this depersonalization/derealization?
Sometimes I will have these sort of panic attacks. I will be living in the moment, oblivious to the profoundness of life and then I am suddenly hit with a wall of panic. It literally feels like a smack to the face. Then I suddenly feel everything sinking around me and I keep asking myself "Where am I, where am I, where am I?" I know, in a literal sense, where I am. I'm at school, for example, or I'm in a car. But my mind just goes crazy for a while and I suddenly feel an intense fear. Nothing feels real. I am still capable of feeling and understanding the basic facts of life but the mental side of me sort of freaks out. This sensation happens sporadically and in different intensities. Sometimes it happens occasionally at low intensity and sometimes it happens several times in a day with high intensities.
I did some research on DR/DP but I am not sure that this is it. I think DR/DP is supposed to be continual but mine are sporadic and hit in sudden waves. Please help me understand what is happening to me. I am scared because nobody I know has really felt this before.
- wildmanny2Lv 73 weeks ago
This exact thing has been happening to me for several years,and with no explanation.All I can do when this is going on is to reassure myself that the episode will soon pass and nothing bad is going to happen.It is a very unpleasant sensation.I assume it is due to anxiety or stress or something else.I really don't know.Thanks for posting your question,you are not alone
- AlfredLv 74 weeks ago
well, it sounds to me you probably need the professional help/ advise/ evaluation of a psychiatrist in real life, in your area, someone skilled in treating people of your age, with no further delay
- Anonymous4 weeks ago
I’m not saying it is or it isn’t, but that can also be a symptom of seizures. I think they’re called focal seizures because unlike a grand mal epileptic fit they don’t involve the entire brain as much but just a certain area.
And therefore I believe that depending on the localized area of the brain involved, your subjective experience of such seizures could vary.
If they involve a certain area of the brain you might smell something that’s not there (Like I sometimes smell cigarette smoke even though there is none actually around and I don’t smoke) ) or if it’s affecting another area, you might lose track of time momentarily, or another area, you might not be able to speak for a moment but hear and be aware of everything around you....all depending on what particular area of the brain is being involved. And what that particular area controls.
I believe the amygdala in the brain has a lot to do with fear, so I suppose it’s possible if the seizure involved that area of the brain you could also feel momentary fear for no apparent reason. I’m just guessing here. I’m certainly no expert.
But I had the 2 hour EEG and based on that the neurologist said that I might be having seizures and I’m still waiting for the results of an extended 72 hour EEG I did at home.
The 2 hour EEG I had showed that there was some slightly abnormal ‘epileptiform’ brain electrical activity going on which sometimes suggests seizure activity as well as a ‘slowing’ of the left side of my brain.
So you can have these focal seizures and not be aware of it. It’s just a momentary abnormality in electrical activity in the brain which can be fairly harmless but noticeable and not necessarily the type of grand mal seizures that you hear about where people start rolling around on the floor, jerking uncontrollably, eyes rolling back in their head, almost swallowing their tongues etc.
You might just momentarily zone out, feel fear with no apparent reason, feel a little disoriented in
time and/or space...whatever.
I’ve done transcendental meditation since I was 17 years (in my 60s now) off and on and I’ve sometimes had experiences where I’ve gotten these whole body jerks during meditation which I’ve read some people believe are seizures, because meditation sometimes causes the left and right hemispheres of your brain to synchronize in a way that may cause that.
Not everybody agrees that’s the reason, but I have sometimes wondered. Other people say it’s ‘kundalini energy’ or whatever being released. Or just stress in your body. So who knows?
I mean I’ve been in the process of entering into fairly deep meditative states where my whole body just all a sudden stiffens violently like a board...like I can be sitting a little bit slumped and then all of a sudden my body will become perfectly erect and upright in one violent jerking motion. It’s pretty dramatic.
And these weird, very strained sounds come out of my mouth,and then I relax gradually and the meditation then starts to get deeper.
I always just attributed it to the process of meditation but who the hell knows? Some people believe it’s actually seizure activity. Beats me.
Now that I think about it I’ve also felt my eyes rolling back in my head during meditation so maybe these are seizures I’ve had. But it only got me deeper into the meditation and didn’t seem to do any permanent harm so I don’t know.
So you might want to check the seizure aspect of it. Again, not saying that’s what’s going on. Just a possibility.
Google ‘focal seizures’ maybe? Find out more?
I think depersonalization and derealization has a little bit of a different flavor to it. More a feeling of unreality/disconnectedness from the body/lack of identity perhaps? Not sure. But I’ve had those as well.
Still trying to sort it out.
You might want to get a 2 hour EEG or extended EEG done. Just to rule it out. Again, don’t want to scare you because it may not be. It’s only one of many possibilities.
Oh, and now that I think about it antipsychotic psychiatric drugs are associated with seizures sometimes.
So if you’ve ever taken one of those or are currently taking one that could be a possibility also.
And if that’s the case, very few psychiatrists will have told you about that before they prescribed the drug. That it’s a possible side effect. That’s not what they do.
If they told you all the side effects of all those psych drugs you would never take any of them and they wouldn’t be able to make a living, right?
- Anonymous4 weeks ago
Ive had something similar like this I suffer with GAD and depression. Ive had times where I start to question everything and in turn it would make me feel not real or in a dream. I thought these feelings would never go away when I suffered with them. I would go to a therapist because for me just telling someone who will understand will make you feel less anxious about it. If you dont want to do that just try to do some things that are fun and get your mind off of it. Eventually I stopped paying attention so much to it and it went away.
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- Pearl LLv 74 weeks ago
maybe you should talk to a psychiatrist about it, you might need meds for it
- Anonymous4 weeks ago
I've had that a couple times were I space out and then I'm like were am I ? who am I ? what am I doing ? oh I'm at work well keep up the appearance that everything is ok...