What is the most authoritative food to eat during class?

I am smarter than my English professor. I don't mean to say this in a cocky ******* kind of way; it's just that he's genuinely an idiot who does hate me. I'll accept part of the blame for this. I have corrected him in class, and I understand why he wouldn't like that. I missed last year's final exam due to a family death, and so I have to retake this beginners' English course. I've been trying to go through more official channels to resolve this, and unfortunately, nothing has been working. We're now three weeks into the semester, and I've resigned myself to having to complete the course. 

However, I do not intend to take this quietly. This sexist ******* is quite a stickler about having food in class, so I plan to be eating during every single lecture. My question is, what is the most authoritative food I can bring into class to eat? I don't want to be too disruptive to other students (though I doubt they're learning much in this guy's class in the first place,) but I want it to be a pretty clear "**** you" for the professor. I am a bit limited in that I'm in residence, but any ideas would be appreciated. 

Thanks for any help, folks! 


I've gotten some feedback, and upon rereading my question, I do understand why. I don't wish to cause a disturbance in class; other students need to learn. But this is a professor who regularly ridicules students, particularly female students, and makes sexist comments. A lot of the higher year students have complained about him formally, but because he has tenure, it hasn't been going anywhere. 

I just want to show this guy that I'm not willing to put up with him this year. 

11 Answers

  • 1 year ago

    Authoritative food? Steamed broccoli is pretty respectable, and

    it won't disrupt class, because it doesn't make much noise when you chew it.

    (No crunching, or anything). How about turkey bacon? Or some Godiva chocolates in the gold wrappers. Or, you can eatsome chocolate syrup, and lick it off your fingers.

    But why would you risk being thrown out of class? In my school, food was

    not allowed, and surely, you will get in trouble for it.

  • di
    Lv 4
    1 year ago

    he has tenure.....  that about says it all.  Grow up & deal. You're the one who needs the class - this Prof doesn't need you IN the class.  Get an Ugly Fruit.  BUT, unless you're willing to wager your grade against your irritating behavior, just stop your plans.  If he is SO sexist, record him & play it for the Dean.  

  • 1 year ago

    battling a tenured ding dong is outa your paygrade

    attrition,voting out and away those who protect ding dongs is the way,

    years ago as  JC major in spanish I had2 courses with a tenured  lady

     whose accent was first week ******  espanyole 101,pronunciation for her whole career,she did however know every point of grammar syntax,spelling and diacritical mark in the language,get  what value you can from the course,,

  • ?
    Lv 6
    1 year ago

    Chips.  Definitely chips.  Be the commander of that crinkly bag and a captain of the crunch variety!  Imagine you're aboard a ship called the Sloppy Maria and you're sailing through the sea of crumbs that are flying outta your mouth as you talk.

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  • 1 year ago

    You: "I'm smarter than my English professor"

    Then you go on to prove without a doubt you have the intelligence and maturity of a six year old with ADHD.  He must be missing chromosomes if you are smarter than he is.

    Good luck with your future stint in prison or living under a bridge.

  • 1 year ago

    What makes you think going against his classroom rules is going to benefit you in any way? He'll only have more of an incentive to grade you poorly. You're playing messy with someone who has full control over your educational success, especially since English tends to be a subjective field. It's easier to grade students poorly in literature since there isn't a defined formula to solutions, like there is for math or chemistry. 

  • 1 year ago

    I have never heard any food described as authoritative, and can't see how one could be. Forget the food. It would be better if you simply paid attention in the beginners' English class, and then you might find out how to use the word 'authoritative'.

  • 1 year ago

    Here is where your college education fails..... and my blue collar and military career shines.

    Got a rainy day?  Consider a handful or two of pop rocks in places were wet boots or shoes are sure to be.

    I have always been partial to limburger cheese wrappers - not the cheese - just the wrapper.  It only takes two seconds to stick it to the bottom of a chair.  

    Back in 1978 I was scheduled to fly to the Bahamas with my much older cougar girlfriend.  24 hours before leaving the military sent me to a 4 week high security, high technology class - kiss off the plane and hotels costs.  I sat in the front row and decided that would be the time to learn how to blow bubble gum.  I think I spit 50-70 pieces out at the instructor before I got my first pop.  As more class mates learned how I had been shanghaied - more began to take up learning to blow bubble gum.  Of 22 students I had the highest grade, highest practical exams.  They actually sequestered me in a room for two days with no contact to fellow participants thinking others were giving me answers - I resolved problems so fast.

    There is a cute little device made by think geek. It is battery operated, small like a thick quarter and magnetic to stick to places.  You turn it on and it has three settings 'baby laughing', scratching sound, or 'Hey, can you hear me?".  You can adjust the time between plays and volume. I hid one in my police buddies office.  I choose the scratching noise.  His office is quiet and he never plays music.  Nearly two months before he took his computer apart and found it - and then - didn't even think of me.  Still blames someone else.  Think Geek 'Annoy-a-Tron'.  Another favorite it the Phanthom keystroker - looks like a usb drive and  just takes a sec to stick it in the back of computer and it registers as a keyboard.  Set the duration for med/high and go with mouse or letter.  They will be tying along and it will pop them into caps or add letters - or - make the mouse go wild.  Gamers use the mouse function to stay logged on when getting a sandwich.  It's quite evil.     

  • John
    Lv 6
    1 year ago

    I don't believe you are ready for college.  You are far too immature.  I recommend you drop out now, while there is still a chance you will get a partial refund.  Maybe in a few years you will be more mentally prepared for higher education.  

  • 1 year ago

    If you're smarter than your professor he must be a drooling moron.  Could you be any pettier if you tried?  I'm guessing you're an only child because it's all about you.

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