I have questions regarding a custody issue? Please don't skip my post?

My boyfriend has an almost 3 y/o that was originally taken from the mom at 6 mos of age. Before being removed from the mom's care, my bf, his stepbrother & wife, & bf's dad were considered "supervisors" by children's services for the mother. When the child was removed from her care, he was placed with the father (my bf). My bf was told per the caseworker that he needed to do a drug screen but if he didn't hear from her then he was fine. He waited 2 hours, was late to work & she never showed. So they took his boy & placed him in the care of his stepbrother and wife! They cant conceive their own kids btw. since then they have done nothing but lie to cps, stalk my bf by driving by his house & have shown obvious signs that they had NO intention of giving him back & alienating him from his son. Over the summer we noticed that his teeth are decaying too & nothing has been done. the state we live in, men do not have rights to their child at all. Their behavior goes over cps & the courts head & they just suggest my bf "work things out with them".The last court date they were rewarded with visitations every tues, thurs, & every other weekend. My bf has had him full time since sept & still paying child support while paying for daycare! The next court date is next week & they have already filed a motion for full time custody! Idk if they’re delusional to believe that they would get that but we both are fearful we’re gonna have to spend many years sharing his son with these people. 


So to debunk some myths, we live in Ohio, unmarried men have zero rights to their child. They have to go to court to obtain them. Please at least google it. 

Also, since some are focusing on me "just being the gf". We went to HS together, dated & i moved and we rekindled over a year ago. His "step brother" isn't his step brother anymore b/c their parents are not married. he still calls him his step brother because they ONCE had a close relationship until all of this happened. 

Update 2:

I am not afraid to admit I have no idea what's going on. I have never been involved with CPS and have never been to court except traffic stops. He has no idea what to do either. BUT the stepbrothers wife does!! she's notorious for stealing children. per the caseworker, some old records were retrieved of her obtaining custody of her friends daughter. THE SAME exact thing she is doing to my boyfriend. 

9 Answers

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    Your bf needs to get a lawyer.

  • Bort
    Lv 6
    8 months ago

    None of the people involved here have the thoughts they should about this entire situation. It seems you're all thinking about the outcome being in your favor. You should all be thinking and concerned with the outcome ending up being in the child's best interest which is exactly what the court is going to do next week.

  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    "He has no idea what to do either."  If that's the case, then he should consult a Family Law attorney who can review his case and advise him of the best course of action.  Either you haven't told us the whole story or your boyfriend hasn't told you.

  • 8 months ago

    Firstly you are just a girlfriend and have no claim to this child at all. You poking your nose into this can likely do more harm than good. This is not your fight.

    "the state we live in, men do not have rights to their child at all. " - This is not true in the USA. Men have 50% right as much as the mother.

    You are asking for help but don't ask a question so not sure what help you are looking for. Your boyfriend needs to get a lawyer who can give him proper advice.

    Based on your writing you seem very young. I strongly suggest you let your boyfriend handle this because many of the "facts" or "laws" you state they just are not true. You have no clue how custody, cps and US law work. Your writing shows you very emotional and out of control which is why I fear you are going to cause your boyfriend to lose his child completely if you don't back up and just quietly support him.

    FYI there is an option to update your post and add more info.

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  • 8 months ago

    I don't think you grasp family law as well as you think you do.  Father's do have rights, just that many of them are secondary to the rights of the mother.  For example visitation rights can't be withheld, even when full custody is bestowed on another.  They can be limited and supervised but typically not removed unless a visitation puts the child in peril.

    If you and your bf want to seek custody you will need to get a lawyer and do what ever it takes to prove to CPS that you both are valid caretakers, not wait around for the caseworker to prove it for you.  Good luck.

  • Maxi
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    There are so many things wrong with this situation apart from you being badly informed and it is nothing to do with you...the lastest gf of someone whose child is only 3 yrs old and your bf was in a relationship with the mother of this child, has been married and now with you at a minimum..... so not a man that is consistant or true in any relationship...fathers have the same rights as mothers unless 'something' is very wrong like they are not the father eg not on the birth cert, then they have no rights at all or are criminals and a risk to the child ..in three years the child has been pushed from pillar to post, lived with all and anyone including people who are not 'family'...no parent with physical custody pays child support unless it is court ordered so he was not previously paying it and had to have it legally forced

    You do not have a question just moans, slandering the other parent and the childs other extended family and their latest non related partners..... you need to butt out, latest bf and father of the child needs to step up and be a real father to this child and give the child a consistant home and consistant people around them.....

  • 8 months ago

    " the state we live in, men do not have rights to their child at all. " - This is not true in ANY state in the US. So you are mistaken.

    He needs to get the support order dropped if he now has custody. Unless they can show he is somehow unfit, they will not win.

  • 8 months ago

    "men do not have rights to their child at all" Not true in any state in the US. If your BF wants his son he needs a lawyer. Simple as that. There are clearly issues you have chosen not to share.

  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    You forgot to ask an actual question, dear.    Do you have one?

    "we both are fearful we’re gonna have to spend many years sharing his son with these people"      Until the two of you get married, there is no "we" because you are temporary.  You have ZERO legal rights to this child.   You are not related to this child by blood, marriage or adoption, nor are you a foster parent or legal guardian. 

    ETA:  "no where did i give any detail as to where we're at in our relationship"   Yes you did.   You are not married.  That's a pretty big detail. 

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