How do I put this into Shakespearean style? 10 Points To The Best Answer?

Thou, my beloved,

Why are you so cruel towards me,

Why aren't you sorrowful towards my misfortune,

What is the reason for that,

Come to me my peace of soul,

Come to me my cypress tree, (Irony for a tall person.)

Come to me my honey tongued, my charmer,

What's the sweetness of honey compared to your words,

The mirror is stunned and Intrigued by your stunning face,

You put musk into shmae with your aroma,

It's no suprise if the heart falls in love with you,

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  • 4 weeks ago
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    Your English is coming along really nicely.  

    Maybe someone else can put this poem into better prose than I.  I do not have a knack for it.  However, I did want to try to help with a couple lines and their structure.

    Come to me my peace of soul - did you mean this to express being a part of your soul?  The word would be piece.  But I like peace here too, better actually, as it would indicate a calming presence to your spirit.

    The mirror is stunned and Intrigued by your stunning face,  - Using stunned here for the verb and adjective detracts a bit with its redundancy.  Maybe,  'The mirror is dazed and drawn by your stunning face'. or 'The mirror is stunned and drawn to your handsome face.' or 'The mirror is beguiled and drawn by your stunning face.

    'You put musk into shmae with your aroma, - Typically musk is a heavy scent and not necessarily a good odor.  e.g. A wet dog or a horse that has been galloping are thought to have a musky smells.  While it isn't quite in the Shakespearean vein - maybe cologne:  'You put cologne to shame with your scent.'  A little more Shakespearean, "You put attar to shame with your aroma (or scent).  Attar is a fragrant oil.

    Hope this helps.

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      Lv 7
      4 weeks agoReport

      My cypress tree with tongue of honeyed charm.
      The very mirror loves thy stunning face;
      Thy fragrant scent puts verdigris to shame.
      It's no surprise my heart belongs to thee.

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