Why is it that my husband can get off to porn but he goes soft when we have sex?

8 Answers

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  • 4 weeks ago

    Dam I think he got use to the porn, he has to cut it out slowly.

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  • 4 weeks ago

    maybe you could stand to lose a few pounds?

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  • 4 weeks ago

    he needs to wean himself off his porn addiction. I doubt it's easy. Like smoking. Good luck. He may need to talk with a therapist for this issue. 

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  • RP
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    The implication is he doesn't find you as stimulating as porn. If he's concerned about this and your feelings, he may want to get checked.

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  • 4 weeks ago

    Could be he is a porn addict and that means if its not on screen he just can't get off to "it".

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  • 4 weeks ago

    First and foremost, you must realize and believe with all of your heart and soul, that your husband's sexual frame of mind an inability to perform with you is not your fault. Really, it is not your fault. This is 100% on him.

    This is an extremely complex situation. Your husband is having extreme intimacy issues and it does not begin and end with his penis, it has everything to do with the head between his shoulders. So no matter how sexy you are, or whether or not you are wearing his favorite perfume, a garter belt or red lipstick, his inability to perform is all on him 100% and there is no way on Earth you have created his problem. You may have become a symptom of his problem, but you are not the problem because he is.

    No offense to you, but you are not strong enough to control his sexuality because that is all on him. Pornography is not what people really think it is. I saw a documentary about pornography and many of the pornstars that were interviewed brought light to the reality of how a pornflick is filmed. 

    Most pornography is filmed in a cold Warehouse where a set is staged, just like any other films production that we watch on television every day. The pornography Stars are surrounded by cameramen, light men, the sound crew and others directing the actors. And yes, they are actors. Just like the guy in the western who pretends to be shot and fall to the ground gasping for breath dying, the pornstars are all following a script and acting. There is even a guy on the sidelines with cue cards that's a things like moan oh, bite her lip, spank her, faster, louder.......etc. lol, really! Pornography is all acting and the story always ends the same.

     Pornography a fantasy for men and it causes them to be detached emotionally. Yes, it is stimulating to them but that is because they can sit back and watch it and not be involved. Real intimacy and real live sex is a lot different then watching it on a flat screen. And that is why your husband is having erectile dysfunction.

    Like I said, his problems have nothing to do with you. You just happened to be stuck in the middle. He'll never admit that though. So, what do you do? I suggest you go for counseling. Why and how can that help you? Counseling will help you to cope with the situation and give you the tools on how to work with it or give you the strength to leave him if he does not change. Your marriage would not be the first marriage to end because of the other mistress, pornography.

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  • 4 weeks ago

    He's probably become addicted to porn, and that is something you shouldn't tolerate.

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  • k w
    Lv 7
    4 weeks ago

    that's why it is bad for men mostly, he got used to the visual stimulation of porn, and reality is not that same thing, reality meets fantasy, then he crashes, he's in denial as to why that is, he's trapped/blinded by satan and can't see the way out, it's quite destructive......and coming face to face with that, is screwing him up.......see how it destrys and stimulates at the same time ?.......

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    • Longtime Hubby
      Lv 5
      4 weeks agoReport

      I think he can wean himself off his porn addiction. But it's like cigarettes or booze. No sneaking in a smoke or a drink. And no sneaking in porn. Gotta be strong. You can encourage him. Work on this together. 

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