Boss invited me to dinner, even though he passed me over for the job I'm already doing and doesn't really like me.  How do I decline?

Update:

I'm a temp. who's been working with his research team since 10/2019 and the job is set to end in 3/2020.  I found out, from an announcement he made, at our comp. conference, that he posted the job as a permanent position, without even asking if I'd be interested.  In the job description, it says training will be provided by team member and 2 weeks at research lab in Colorado.  That team member is me.  So I'm expected to train someone to do what I am doing, but they get the perks of being perm.

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  • 1 month ago

    I would inform him that it's against your principle's to date a supervisor and remain firm about it. At the same time I'd be thinking about looking elsewhere for a new job. It sounds as he may be interested in you sex8ually and will offer you a great future with the company should you accept.

    • Chris1 month agoReport

      I'm a guy and so is he.  The issue is that I've been told to look for another job and I can use him as ref.  Meanwhile, they are looking for someone else who I will have to train and who will be hired as permanent.  I always got positive reviews but they never offered me perm; only a "goodbye" meal.

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  • Iambi
    Lv 4
    1 month ago

    If your nice to him maybe he will give you a better job and more!

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  • Nitro
    Lv 5
    1 month ago

    I would go. This is an opportunity for your boss to get to know you in a different context. And who knows? It might lead to better opportunities for you in the workplace. You can't lose anything by going. Worst-case scenario: You don't ever have to go to dinner with your boss again.

    • Chris1 month agoReport

      Nah, he's already told me to find another job and use him as a ref.  Also, there will be 9 others there for my "farewell send-off".  He acts like I am leaving for another opportunity on my own.  But this is opposite.  They are letting me go and expect me to train my replacement who's coming as perm.

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  • 1 month ago

    If you don't go then your boss could make your life so bad to make you quit or will do all they can to fire you.

    Rejecting this could have terrible results

    • Chris1 month agoReport

      As I stated above, the job, which I temp for, is already set to end in March and I'm expected to train the new person who be hired as permanent.  So the humiliating worst has happened.  I'm just trying to avoid the awkward dinner where I'm gonna be pissed the entire time and thinking about my bills.

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  • 1 month ago

    You have to go dude, you have no idea why he is inviting you out.  He could have other things in store for you, he may want to offer you a different perm job with the company.  If you decline, your probably going to lose out on an opportunity.  Bosses don't invite you out to dinner to just hang out.  Worst case scenario, you leave him with a solid impression of you.

    This is how the game is played, don't miss out on an opportunity because your pissed, I get why your pissed but like I said you may get an even better opportunity which is possibly the reason he wants to sit down with you.

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    • Chris1 month agoReport

      Yeah, it's a punch in the gut.  But I feel like if all I've done wkg here and positive reviews hasn't been enough for me to get perm and yet someone who they will be taking a chance on and needs training is coming into it as a perrm, why should I care if it's not a great look.  This is low down.

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  • 1 month ago

    Go out to dinner.  At dinner you can tell boss how interested you are in the job coming up.  How you hope he will consider you for it.  Often, in the more casual atmosphere of social interaction you can talk more freely.  Maybe, just maybe, he's inviting you to offer you the job......

    Go, be friendly and  talk honestly, saying you'd love the job is a good thing and may get it for you.

    • Chris1 month agoReport

      No, they definitely aren't doing this.  Since all that happened, I've been told to look for another job and I can use him as ref. Plus, why not just ask me if I'd be interested since I'm already doing the job.  A temp who's doing it already vs training a newbie with no experience. Something's off!!!

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    you can't... this will make things worse if you decline. just suck it up and go.

    • Chris1 month agoReport

      Well the "worse" has already happened.  I've already been told to find another job and I can use him for a ref.  So I'm back out here searching for a job, while a new person who I will have to train gets to be hired as a permanent employee.  So the dinner is torture rather than positivity.

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