How do you make someone dealing with alcohol abuse comfortable when they come to your house, and you have a immovable bar in plain view?
I host a writing group at my house once a month. Through our writing, one of the people who attend has made it known that they are currently struggling with some alcohol mis-use and addiction problems.
I have a cute table in the corner that has all of my wine stacked on the bottom, and all of my alcohol stacked on the top,
I used to put a large whiteboard on wheels in front of it, and it would it hide the bar. But I've moved the whiteboard upstairs, and it's too cumbersome to move up and down the stairs every week.
I’m particularly interested in thoughts from people who either conquered this issue as a host, or people who are in varying parts of being sober-curious, or being diagnosed with a definite substance abuse or mis-use disorder. What’s the etiquette?
- FoofaLv 74 weeks ago
Toss a tablecloth over it. Unless this person is rude they're not going to ask what's under the cloth.
- bluebellbkkLv 74 weeks ago
From your post it doesn't seem as if you actually serve drinks at these meetings. In that case there is no need to do anything about it. People with addictions are encouraged to accept that there will be times when the objects of their addiction are in view or to hand, and to learn to turn their attention away. It is extremely unlikely that he'll leap to his feet, grab a bottle and tip it down his neck.
If the group already know that your alcohol is sitting there, then concealing it may simply, perversely, draw attention to it.I would simply ignore its presence, and if anyone remarks on it, glance over briefly, say 'Yes, it's a handy place to store it' and immediately move the conversation along.
It's good to be aware of other people's possible sensitivities, but it's unrealistic to hope to deal with all of them. Ultimately it's up to your writing friend to be responsible for his own problem.
- PearlLv 74 weeks ago
maybe you can just put a cover over it
- Anonymous4 weeks ago
Per etiquette protocol, feel free to serve alcohol at your party. Make sure you have other alcohol free drinks such as soda, sparkling water or juice. You could even serve some sort of non-alcoholic punch if you choose.
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- ElaineLv 74 weeks ago
The first thing you have to do is recognise and accept that the addict owns the addiction. When the group is meeting at your house and to make it a little easier for the addict don't offer any alcoholic drinks to anyone. The only beverages you serve, if any are: tea, coffee, soft drinks, juices. If any of the members asks for an alcohol drink you just politely say no. If you think it would be easier for you then just drape a small tablecloth or towel over your bar and unless you make a production out of it your guests aren't likely to notice.