Anonymous asked in Social SciencePsychology · 8 months ago

How do you rebel against everything you have learned?. ?

I'm a 27 year old man who still lives with his parents and is in a dead end job. I have a degree and I have done nothing with it. I feel like, for my whole life, I have always been a good, and nice person. I have never really stood up for myself effectively and now I am feeling the effects. It has crucially affected my career, my relationships and life in general. 

I am agreeable, timid, depressed and anxious all the time. I feel like I have always suppressed my own emotions and thoughts and prioritized everyone else's. Being nice gets you nowhere, but I feel like it's part of me now and I can't get rid of it. I don't think I have ever discovered who I really am. I am not confrontational, my social life is fading. I am single and hopeless with women. I don't want this to continue. It's simply wasting my time and my true happiness. 

I feel like I was just born to please my parents. I'm tired of this victim mentality I have. I'm tired of fake smiling at people and pretending everything with me is OK. I want to get angry and get what I want. It just nobody ever takes me seriously when I do. 

I want some clout and I want a life of my own. I always want to help others but right now I need to help myself. 

6 Answers

  • 8 months ago

    There is nothing wrong with being nice.However  when you are allowing soul suckers  to drain your life energy this is how you end up feeling as you do.

    What is preventing you from getting your own place?

    You have stated you are unhappy.

    Why are you remaining where you are unhappy?

    To learn who you are at 27 you need you time.

    not be catering to the wants needs and desires of family.

    If they are not going to respect you as an adult with wants needs desires of your own.

    It is time to start trimming the fat. no need to ask permission it is your life.

    Everyone is on a sliding scale of worth. meet enough of their needs your worth goes up and they invest some of their time into you. fail to meet enough of their needs your worth goes down...and they retract the time they invested into you and apply it to someone or something they believe will better meet those needs. No one is exempt.

    From grade school it begins do you like me yes or no.  facebook likes youtube likes.

    The secret to life is everyone just wants to be liked.

    I have yet to see anyone desire to meet the needs of someone they dislike.

    So....what is stopping you from liking yourself enough to take care of your mental health and removing yourself from what you have identified as toxic?

    You will be of much better help to those you love if you lose the guilt and get right with you.

    They will need you down the road and you will be in much better shape to help them out at that time should they choose to respect your boundaries you need to firmly put in place.

    Everyone will test you to see what you will let them get away with. draw your lines and stand firm or live with the resentment of being run over.

  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    wow that sounds like me but situation is worse. im joining the military. military is for poor people like me.

  • 8 months ago

    Just my opinion, but this sounds like it's about knowing yourself better (not "nice vs. angry or aggressive"). It's about knowing what you want from life, and what you value as an individual. It doesn't mean you have to reject all your parents' values, but some of what they chose, may not be right for you. I think the best place to start in choosing values, is the Bible. Draw close to God because He knows more than we do, and look into His word, rather than just believing hearsay (Isaiah 55:8&9, James 4:8). Treat others as you would wish to be treated (Luke 6:31). Work for a living but don't be materialistic (2 Thessalonians 3:10, 1Timothy 6:10). Try to be happy now, but also look forward to the time soon to come when God wipes out all wickedness from this Earth, and we can enjoy it fully (Psalms 37:10&11, 1Timothy 6:19). For more information on happiness, see

  • 8 months ago

    Maybe not completely your fault. Its where the chips fall sometimes. Where they may.

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  • 8 months ago

    It sounds to me like you have dependent personality disorder. Maybe I'm wrong, but entertain the notion, and see if it fits.

  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    Just be happy with what you do have.

    Every job has an end. I don't believe "Dead End Job" means much if you are happy. to be employed, as opposed to sleeping Raw.

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