My moms boyfriend is mentally abusive?

And she won’t leave him. We all moved together around 2 months ago, and he has had 4 major outbursts since. It started when I asked for a drive to work. Im a 5 min drive to work, my mom also doesn’t have a car rn so we’re using his. Before we moved in together I was told by him that I’d have ways to and from work to help.My mom asked to drive me and he lost it and went on a rant about how I don’t pay bills (couldn’t afford it at first) how I’m not his responsibility, and how I need to suck it up and take the bus to work. He said some bad things about me. The outburst after that he was getting in our faces telling us to f*** off and to f*** ourselves. (He has major trust issues and was on a rant that day that my mom was our cheating on him when she was out with ME) he called her a whore, etc. 

And the last (worst) outburst was about 1.5 weeks ago. He was on another cheating rant and I told him to grow up (she’s not a cheater she was with me, he once again told me to get the f*** out of his face. I started crying and fixed my makeup (I have bad anxiety) and he made a comment about how “makeup won’t make me look any better, I’m not that impressive” and then he brought my boyfriend into it (he wasn’t even there) calling him a hillbilly and saying how he’s not allowed here he’s acting like nothing happened and is great with my mom, but hasn’t said 1 word to me or even an apology. Idk what to do and I’m getting depressed the longer I’m around him, advice?

1 Answer

  • 10 months ago

    Since I didn’t have enough room to really get into detail I’m gonna finish it here. When I said he brought my bf into it, my boyfriend is a GREAT guy. Has never said anything wrong to my moms boyfriend. I’m gonna call my moms boyfriend “Bob”. Anyways bob will constantly text my mom when she’s out, sometimes up to 20 texts at once, saying how she’s out with another guy, how he’s “done with her” he will call and leave around 10 voice messages. But this only happens when the “switch” goes off, as we call it. Like i said, this outburst thing has happened around 4 times and gets worse each time. Then after everything is said (and there is A LOT that’s said by him) then he acts totally normal. But like I also said he has no remorse for what he’s said to me. He actually told my mom he expects an apology from ME for telling him off for treating my mom horrible. He even had the nerve to call me immature as he was going around yelling in our faces telling us to go f*** ourselves and slamming doors. My mom had to go away a few weeks ago for a job and I was alone with him for 2 weeks. Those 2 weeks were the worst of my life, he went on another rampage I heard him calling her every 5 min accusing her of stuff when she was trying to study for her job. He even through her wedding book into my room because he “can’t stand” seeing pics of her getting married to my dad (they got divorced, he was also an abusive drunk, but not as bad as bob) My mom made me lock myself in my room because he was out going around talking s*** to me about my mom. And like I also said now he’s normal again until this happens again, and I know it will. But he’s not normal with me at all. Hell be having a full convo with her and as soon as I enter the room he shuts right up. He told me for my birthday that he was going to pay for my driving school, then said he isn’t going to do that now because of “how I am.” That was a slap to the face. 

    My mom knows I’m getting depressed. I have told her I would rather die then come home and see his face again. She doesn’t do anything about it. She still treats him great even after what he did/said to me. I hate him, and I don’t hate many people. He treats my mom like **** and treats me just as bad. But she won’t leave and I can’t afford to move out. Idk what to do anymore :( I’m a good girl for my age, stick to myself, never did drugs, shy, and he makes me feel like a horrible person because I stuck up for me and my mom one time. He’s also said he’s done with both of us yet he acts fine now. My mom is really my only family I have and it KILLS me that she won’t leave him and still treats him like gold, even after pretty much calling me ugly and what he has said to us. even her friends told her that he’s crazy and they’re all telling me to get out of there, but I can’t. I’m so stuck right now 😞 2020 was supposed to be my good year, it’s not :(

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