Is it wrong to end a relationship if your partner doesn't want to adopt?

I REALLY want to have kids in the future. While I do want to have a baby, I also want to adopt an older child. I really, really want to adopt. But I know that not everybody wants to adopt. I don't have a partner yet, but should we plan all of this out before we get married? Would it be wrong to end the relationship if my partner doesn't want to adopt?

9 Answers

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  • 1 month ago

    So you want kids but not the responsibility or maintenance.......  There's nothing, in this world, like giving life.  You can always, discuss this with your partner, and then make the decision to stay in the relationship or not.

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  • sarah
    Lv 4
    1 month ago

    I think this should definitely be discussed on a first date. I know it might seem a little weird to talk about something so heavy when you're just getting started and don't even know if things are gonna get serious, but in the event that things DO get serious, you would save yourself a lot of heartbreak. I mean, imagine hitting it off on the first date, falling in love, eventually getting engaged and all excited about planning a wedding...and only THEN finding out that he/she didn't want kids or was not open to adopting. That would suck!

    And honestly, no, I don't think it would be wrong to end a relationship because of a difference of opinion on adopting/having kids. LOTS of relationships have ended because of that, and let's face it, even if the relationship doesn't end, one of the participants is always going to be unhappy, because they'll never truly get the life that they dreamed of.

    To me, it just seems better to get everything out in the open right off the bat and make sure you're on the same page.

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  • Logan
    Lv 5
    2 months ago

    Honestly, despite how it could come across when on a first date, I believe you should ask the question of if they want kids. It's no use wasting months, potentially years, of your life and almost getting married or actually getting married without having first discussed if you are on the same page about children.

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  • Ocimom
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    YES its very important to talk about children (adopted or not) BEFORE you get married to the person.  Up to you if you don't want a relationship with someone that is not into adopting.  But it must be discussed prior to marriage.

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  • LizB
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    No, it's not wrong, and you should *absolutely* be in agreement before you get married. Really you should make your hopes to adopt in the future pretty clear as soon as it looks like you're getting serious, since if he's not on board with the idea then there's no point in continuing the relationship when you have different life goals.

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  • 2 months ago

    If adoption is that vitally important to you, that needs to be something you talk about up front, before you get into a serious relationship with someone.

    Source(s): Adoptee and Adoptive Mom.
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  • Murzy
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Having children is a big decision and should not be taken lightly.

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  • 2 months ago

    Seems like a discussion you'd want to have before marriage, yes.

    No, that would not be wrong, at all.

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  • Anonymous
    2 months ago

    Absolutely that is major topic to discuss before marriage.

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