have you ever been in a situation where people didn't believe in you?
if so, how can you believe in yourself? if people seem to doubt you not believe in you?
does it take an extra will of iron to summon up belief in yourself in that circumstance?
- CLv 72 months agoFavorite Answer
Many times. Will you believe that I spent many years of elementary school in the "special" group? Now, I'm probably a good deal older than you so I'll have to explain that when I was that age it was "common knowledge" in that school district that learning two languages at once made you brain damaged and I was brought up bilingually. It was just assumed that I would never be able to learn to read, but I paid attention in class and my mother read with me at home. I brought books to read when I was bored (which I was most of the time). Then the SAT or maybe it was the CAT came round and I scored in the 98th percentile. I thought it was easy. The school thought I'd been lucky randomly picking answers. They made me redo it and take all kinds of stupid tests and they kept thinking that I was lucky or cheating because I kept scoring so highly. Many years later I got a chance to ask a teacher who I'd actually liked why they thought I couldn't read and she replied, "Oh, we all thought you carried books around because you felt self-conscious about not being able to read." Me: !?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
That's just one story, and one I still dwell on to this day because not only is it strange that teachers ignored the evidence to the contrary to their beliefs but I still can't understand why my parents didn't take me out of that school for money was certainly not a problem. My mother never believed I was illiterate, she actually has a degree in child development! but she only ever challenged the school once when they threatened to report her to social services for "speaking foreign" at home. It definitely left me with a chip on my shoulder I have to be careful about not letting get in the way and also cemented the belief that nobody who mattered would ever stick up for me when it mattered. It also turned me into an obsessive diary writer for many years to keep straight my version of reality.
So yes, I agree with you that it does take willpower to keep your reality. Sometimes the best course of action is to cut and start over with a fresh slate away from people's prejudices. That's not the same as running as soon as things get tough or away from fixable mistakes. Deciding to start afresh is something you do after considering it for a long time and then you have to be open to really looking at yourself, the good and the bad which can be scary.