Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Social SciencePsychology · 9 months ago

What if you never get closure?

This is regarding my college friend. She got raped as a child. Years later as an adult, she wanted to confront him in court.

However, a couple days before the court date the POS hung himself. He left a note explaining about trying to suppress the urge for many years but couldn't.

She's so pissed off that she never got the closure she wanted. Confronting him meant so much for her. What would you do if someone hurt you badly, ruined your life but they killed themselves before you had a chance to confront them?

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  • 9 months ago
    Favourite answer

    Closure is a tricky thing but I would think in order to find it, the person must come to accept that yeh it was terrible and sometimes their is nothing you can do about it that will ever justify what happened, it honestly just sucks, but when they accept it and choose to keep living instead of trying to bury the pain life becomes easier and more fulfilling with acceptance of the uncomfortable circumstances not denial of them, bc honestly their is nothing that could ever be done to make her feel completely better it’s a internal struggle that was unfairly caused by another person’s  mistake but it will get easier over time with acceptance 

  • Anonymous
    9 months ago

    I'm not particularly sympathetic. Why wasn't he prosecuted earlier? Sounds like some therapist "resurrected" a totally forgotten and mercifully hidden memory. She was functioning. He was a member of society.

    Now she has a "memory" of an event that might not have even taken place. She has the guilt of knowing she caused his death. A productive, but troubled man is dead.

    I am having trouble generating any sympathy here.

    Usually the past is best left in the past. Especially if it was not pleasant.

  • 9 months ago

    Closure is an internal process that is about self acceptance. As long as she lets the rape define her, she won't get closure. She should see a therapist, or if she's tried that and it doesn't work, she might consider getting involved as a volunteer working with others who have experienced abuse. When she realizes they are no less for what happened to them, she might realize the same about herself, and that will bring her closure.

  • 9 months ago

    Please see a doctor thanks for a referral to a

    Psychologist for grief and trauma therapy to

    Find closure thanks.

    Thanks

    Very Best Wishes

    Mars

    Source: ) Study

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