Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 8 months ago

Fell in love with a girl on tinder and she not messaging back?

OK so last week I matched with a girl on tinder and I automatically fell in love with her, we shared 5 or 6 messages and now she not replying. I feel sick to my stomach, can't eat, can't sleep etc what can I do to get back in her life?

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  • 8 months ago
    Favourite answer

    most people are fake on Tinder. Focus on your real life offline. 

  • 8 months ago

    Falling in love is a process which takes more than a day or week or month or even a few months. it doesn't happen over tinder. You have never met her in your life. You don't even know if you'd be attracted in person or if you're anywhere near compatible.

  • 8 months ago

    It’s hard to meet and really get to know a strong woman online. It's just too easy for someone to pretend that they're someone they're not. Use dating to find out what she is really like. Pay special attention to how she reacts when he doesn't get his way or something goes wrong.

    It sounds like you are confusing having the feeling of being "in love" with true love.

    True love usually takes more than a year to develop - you really have to know the person well to develop mutual true love.

    Here's some information about love from the book True Love Lasts:

    “Unfortunately, lots of people don’t know what true love is and that’s a big reason why a large number of marriage relationships are unhappy. Many people think that true love is just a feeling. You know, the wonderful head spinning feeling of being “in love.”

    If true love is just a feeling, feelings come and go. But true love doesn't come and go. True love is patient and kind. It isn’t jealous, rude, selfish, controlling, or easily angered. It forgives. It’s supportive, loyal, hopeful, and trusting.

    Unlike the feeling of being “in love” which is relatively easy to get especially during dating, true love usually develops slowly over a significant period of time (often years). In order to develop true love for someone you really have to know them well – which means that you have had a chance to observe their behavior in all types of situations (pay special attention to how they react when things go wrong or they don’t get their way). True love is so much more than just the feeling of being “in love” - it’s supposed to be a mutual lifelong commitment. When you say that you love your significant other, you’re saying that you’re committed to loving them for the rest of your life - for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, from this day forward, until death do you part. True love lasts - it almost never fails.

    Think of it this way, if a person has true love for another person, it’s like the sun - it’s always there no matter what (remember that even at night, the sun is still there, it’s just shining on the other side of the earth - and when it’s cloudy outside the sun is also still there, it’s just behind the clouds).

    On the other hand, the feeling of being “in love” is like sunshine - even though we’d like it to be sunny every day, the truth is that the amount of sunshine changes regularly. Some days it’s nice and sunny and the feeling of being “in love” is strong, on others it’s partly cloudy and the feeling of being “in love” is there but it’s not very strong, and on other days it’s cloudy and the feeling of being “in love” is barely there at all. I’m hoping that this explanation is helping you to see that it’s possible for a person to have true love for another person and not have a strong intense feeling of being “in love” with that person at a particular moment. (If you talk with married couples, I think they’ll tell you that the strength of their feelings of being “in love” changes regularly.)

    So when you hear someone say, “I don't love him or her anymore” - take it for what it usually is. It’s usually someone saying that they’ve lost the feeling of being “in love”, that they don’t know how or they’re not willing to make the effort required to get the feeling back, and that they probably never had true love for their significant other to begin with because true love almost never fails.

    Many times I’ve heard young women say, “my boyfriend loves me.” Unfortunately, most of these women have been fooled. How could their boyfriend possibly have true love for them if their boyfriend doesn’t even know what true love is? Sadly many people marry when one or both people don't have true love for the other - and the result is usually divorce because it's hard to keep a marriage together when it's based only on the feeling of being "in love."

    My first suggestion is that you put in the effort necessary to become a strong person (if you’re not already). A strong person has good character (honesty, integrity, trustworthiness), a positive attitude (cheerful, caring, friendly, forgiving, helpful, and respectful), fulfills their responsibilities (for handling pains in a positive way, for always trying to make a good choice, for taking care of themselves, for serving others), puts forth their best effort, and displays self-control (of their body, anger, tongue and money).

    My second suggestion is that you eventually look for this type of person (otherwise you are setting yourself up for a broken heart). Unfortunately this type of person is difficult to find – but save yourself the heartache and don’t settle for less.

    (Please remember that you eventually want a 50 or 60 year marriage - not a 5 or 10 year marriage.)

    Hope this helps!

    Source(s): The book True Love Lasts
  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    You probably won't. 5 messages and you're already in love? You haven't even met her, she could be a dude. Relax bro.

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  • 8 months ago

    I get that it is tough but remember at the moment, in the nicest way possible, you mean nothing to this girl. You've messaged her several times and she most likely gets messages all the time, so you're not high on her priority list. The best thing to not think about this is to keep yourself busy and try to talk with other girls. Honestly you can't fall in love with someone that quickly and I promise you in a months time, if she doesn't respond, you'll forget this girl when another starts talking to you. 

    Make sure your tinder profile is up to scratch (also try bumble/hinge), I've had more success with the other apps, as girls think Tinder is used by guys just to hook up. Have good quality photos (not cropped ones from facebook), when you start conversations try to mention (but not ask for) drinks in the first few messages (e.g. I was going to ask if you wanted to grab a drink but after that comment I'm not so sure 😂) - now she is the one who has to win your affection. 

    People tend to go back and forth with messages until one of them gets bored (usually the girl). Also, some messages people just don't want to answer, so it might not be she is ignoring you but she just doesn't want to answer your particular message. 

    If you want to give this girl one last shot make sure you are casual and if she doesn't respond there isn't much you can do. You can't let this girl know how much you like her cause that is a real turn off. Send a direct but casual message like "Hey! You seem really sweet and I'd love to go for a quick drink somewhen this week if you've got an hour?" .. it's direct, short, to the point, it limits the time commitment as it's only an hour and if she doesn't answer you'll at least know you tried.  

    Good luck anyway dude!! 

  • 8 months ago

    don't be so ridiculous, move on if she isn't responding.

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