Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 10 months ago

How do y’all feel about parents making their kids pay a bill after they turn 18?

I’m 18 years old just got a job at my moms job, and I ride with her to work so now she saying I have to pay a bill. When I’ve clearly been struggling for months trying to save up to buy a car, and pay for college. I just feel like it’s so wrong for her to make me pay a bill to live here when she clearly sees I’m already struggling trying to get and stay on my feet. I’m already broke so it just hurts that she’ll make me spend my last on paying consumers when she knows there’s things I want to do. But I don’t know what to say to her to get her to understand where I’m coming from I always get a “if you live in this house you gone pay a bill” what can I say to her to get her to understand how I’m feeling without just seeming like a freeloader, I know that’s a weird word to use in this situation because she’s my mom but idk what to do without just sounding like I rather spend my money on shoes or something, you know.

Update:

Since y’all must be getting confused. She’s not buying my car. I am, and she didn’t help me get into the job. I applied, interviewed and got the job myself! she never even knew I applied. Nor did anybody there know I was her daughter. She had literally never did anything for me! I’m her daughter but she has never bought me a thing! She has never even taught me how to shave properly or even about periods. I would think since she hadn’t done anything else, shed help this one time. 

Update 2:

No she hasn’t bought me anything in the last 18 years!!!!! I’ve been in foster care. So no, she hasn’t. Not one thing. 

Update 3:

I never said I rather buy shoes with my money, you guys misunderstood. I SAID “ idk what to do without SOUNDING like I rather spend my money on shoes or something” 

28 Answers

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  • 10 months ago

    Since you've been in foster care, how can you expect your real mother to now take on your expenses when all that time she never really wanted you enough to keep you?  You think it's a guilt thing she owes you? She doesn't evidently.

  • 10 months ago

    Your mother is trying to teach you something about real world responsibility.

    My kids had to pay their own car insurance every month when they turned 17. They either paid it or they didn't drive.

    This doesn't mean i didn't help them out with something like gasoline, etc., once in a while. It was all about learning how to be responsible for something

    It was the same with the dog they wanted. They took care of it, i did not.

  • Anonymous
    10 months ago

    Paying room & board is reasonable.  If you don't like it, move out.

  • Anonymous
    10 months ago

    Your mother is right and...you're not struggling the same way as if you were out and on your own.

    First of all, she's not going to just fork over a car because if she puts it in her name and you default on a ticket or something, then she's liable.

    When you're older, you'll see...

    Be grateful for what you have....and lastly, stop copping an attitude when your mother helped get the job in the first place!!! WOW!!! UGHHH!!

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  • 10 months ago

    It depends on if your mom or parents need the money.  When I was 8 yrs old, with 10 kids, that's right I have 5 sisters and 4 brothers. Money was tight, mom lost her full time job, and my dad's part time job cut his hours. The older siblings who were able to find a job paper route, dish washer, yard work, gave the money to help out the family.  Times for a lot of people are tough. So unless your mom is rich, very well off, Depending how much she is asking.  If your mom is still paying  most of your needs, food shelter, clothes, all the utilities, internet, cable. maybe allowing you to use another car she has or the only car she has, which most likely also includes insurance.  I fully understand you view. But look at it from your mom's view for a second. She is working 40-50 hours a week or more, and seems to be paying most of the bills.  And she might be able to handle it. But when was the last time, she went on a date with your dad, if still married, or someone else if she is not.  When was the last time she went on vacation, or a girls night out. Or does she work and take care of you and maybe other kids. When was the last time she bought a new sexy outfit.,  You want to start living, and planning for your future.  Look at your mom, as a person, a woman. with the same desires, and fantasies, as you do.  I was 32 when I saw my mom, and grandma as a women and my dad as a man. To have all your bills paid, except for extras, and saving for college and and a car, to pay one bill a month, some where between $40-$100 a month is not asking a lot. I do not know your mom, or you. I do not know if your mom is trying to teach you how to budget you money better, or if you are wasting money on jewelry, and hanging out with friends. Or if your mom really needs the help to pay the bills.  Just keep in mind, if you lived on your own, $500-$700 for rent, another $200 for utilities and cable. $200 for car payments, $100 for insurance, if you have a job with health insurance, your mom is paying $75 for each Child, but you would pay, $150. Don't for get food and house hold needs laundry soap, toilet paper, dish soap, another $300 a month. Just another way to look at it.   

  • 10 months ago

    You should be glad she pulled strings to get you a job at her workplace.  Hate to say it, but literally MILLIONS of young and old people are feeling how you're feeling - working hard with nothing to show for because of stupid bills.  Heck, I wish I could buy a pair of Italy's best instead of paying the mortgage for a month lol  But that's Life.  You're not a kid anymore.  No more spring break.  Best thing to do for now is to work hard (and smart), help your mom out, and learn to enjoy whatever moments life gives to you.  Perhaps your break will come one day soon if you keep your head on straight.  

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    10 months ago

    not much you can do but pay the bill or pay someone to rent a room at their place

  • Anonymous
    10 months ago

    If the 18yr old is finished with high school & NOT going to college I agree with it. A parent's job is to raise a full functioning adult who can support themselves and live in the world on their own. This is a step in that direction.

    If the 18yr old is going to college and living at home as a way to save money then I don't agree with forcing them to pay bills. I would hope the 18yr old would on their own help a little bit with buying some food and offering a little money for things such as paying their own gas and phone bill. But, never kick them out if they don't pay.

    My oldest lived at home until she was almost 20, she was going to college and working. She on her own helped pay for things. We never would have forced it as she was doing her best and she wasn't wasting money.

  • sarah
    Lv 5
    10 months ago

    I personally don't agree with it, and it's not something I would ever require of my own daughter. I think that since you're clearly being responsible with your money, your mom should cut you some slack.

  • Anonymous
    10 months ago

    I have a good friend whose widowed mother made him work all through high school and college and took everything he made and put it in the bank "for you someday".  After he graduated from college, he met a girl, they became engaged and he asked his mother for his money.

    She wouldn't give it to him, saying he was too young to get married (he was 24).

    So he moved out, got married and sent his mother a christmas card every year.  Years later the neighbors called the police because they hadn't seen her for a long time.  They took her - barely alive - to the hospital where she soon died.  Doctors estimated she had lain on the floor for over a week after she had her stroke.  Too bad she was all alone - but that was her choice.  No funeral or memorial - son had her cremated and didn't bother to pick-up the ashes......his mother made hers.

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