Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Arts & HumanitiesBooks & Authors · 10 months ago

What do you think of my story plot?

The story starts with Crown Princess Sophia. She doesn't like to be tied to the responsibilities of a princess b\c the death of her twin brother (thinks that it is her fault). James is the son of a rebel leader. This rebellion lost and retreated to the mountains saying that they will come back. (Eprine is a valley). James two friends, Erica and Flynn, are "in" the rebellion but are actually faerie and are the faerie protector squad. Flynn - lighting conjuring and Erica - light conjuring. Sophia runs away from the palace for some time and meets them. blah blah blah. Eugene is a centuries-old immortal man (21 years when became immortal). His people (a group of faerie) fought against the rebellion when they moved into their lands. They had a mystical mirror and it was used against them. Eugene's people are stuck in a hand mirror while he is left to roam for eternity. At the time of Sophie and James, Eugene (with telekinesis abilities) is desperate to do anything for his people. Eugene is the antagonist and fights Eprine and the faerie in order to save his people. Flynn, Erica, James, and Sophie try to help him but are forced to fight him. Remember Sophia dead twin-brother, Timothy? He went to the forest one day and was never found again after playing with Sophie. Search parties were sent and after five years everyone gave up hope. There is something about ice, snow, Tim, and the faerie. 

Update:

I put blah blah blah because I needed to get on and address the other part of the plot! Sophia does not want to join the rebels, she wants space. The faerie live in mountains surrounding Eprine.

10 Answers

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  • Anonymous
    10 months ago
    Favourite answer

    Very imaginative.  It might appeal to those who are into high fantasy, especially for younger readers.  I would just like to see more resolution about the dead/presumed dead brother.  Maybe provide some clues to elicit some speculation about what could have happened to him, whether or not he is found, and how the main characters come to terms with their grief.

  • 10 months ago

    I don't see a plot; I just see some rather cliched ideas about a rather cliched story.

    But that's OK. If you want to write this story, why ask our opinion? Just write it.

    But it would be a good idea to polish up your English first.

    You mentioned "James two friends" and "Sophia twin brother". Please don't tell me "I'm only 14" or "I was typing in a hurry". When you ask for an opinion about anything to do with writing, you MUST write as well as you know how, as this is ALL that we can base our opinions on.

  • Marli
    Lv 7
    10 months ago

    You say Eprine is "a valley".  Then you say Eugene "fights Eprine and the faerie".  That's confusing.

    Are Erica and Flynn really faerie undercover agents against James and his rebels?

    How can the Crown Princess Sophia, the heir of her kingdom (whatever it is) run away from her responsibilities and join the rebels?  Aren't they fighting her government? Or are there two kingdoms and James is fighting Eugene's forces. Or are there two faerie forces and is everyone fighting the forces against Eugene?

    I think it is too confusing.  Sort it out in your plot diagram  and then write it.

  • 10 months ago

    You're not understanding how restricted the life of the leaders are, she would not have the opportunity to be unescorted anywhere or do anything without staff around her constantly. Much less run away. There are also assassin attempts done on the leaders by surrounding countries trying for more power.

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  • Cogito
    Lv 7
    10 months ago

    Sorry, but it's weak, predictable, immature and of no interest to me.

  • Tina
    Lv 7
    10 months ago

    You give your own opinion of the plot when you say

    "Sophia runs away from the palace for some time and meets them. blah blah blah."

    If the writer him/herself thinks the plot is 'blah, blah, blah,' then why would anyone else read it?

  • Andrew
    Lv 7
    10 months ago

    I'd rather read 10,000 volumes on inheritance law in Romania than to slog through that nonsense you just posted. I know that I'm not alone in giving up only a few sentences in. And once again, it makes little difference what I or anybody else might think of your plot - if it doesn't exist then we can't read it anyway, so why bother polling people? If your real question is "If this story did actually exist, would pay even a single sou for the privilege of reading it?" then the answer is "no." It's easy to sit around and think up a plot - it's actually turning an idea into a story that's difficult. You obviously don't intend to take things any further, so no matter what answers you receive, it really won't matter at all in the end.  

  • Anonymous
    10 months ago

    In your own words "blah, blah, blah".

    I've read other novels where a princess didn't want the responsibility of her position. There are so many books about a rebellion. Lots of story about fairies and I never understand why people write it as "faerie". 

    Your missing any interesting conflict. No sign of any kind of character arc, Sophia has no goal, her only motive for her actions is avoiding her responsibilities, which may be something we can all relate to, but not a message I would want to send out to the world, that it's effective. 

    No stakes at all. The synopsis didn't sounds interesting and wasn't really well-written.

    However, if you start including the things mentioned above and start learning your craft of writing, cliche can be amazing, if written well. It sounds like you're a beginner, and this would make a good practice piece for you. It wont, be perfect, so don't expect it to be. Putting getting good ideas takes practice and reading. 

    I hope this helped and best of luck

  • j153e
    Lv 7
    10 months ago

    Sophia has too much character weakness.  Sophie should be attracted to Eugene.

  • Anonymous
    10 months ago

    I think opinion-based questions are chat, and therefore, reported. But actually I don't think that. I KNOW that.

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