Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsWeddings · 8 months ago

Fiancés sister apart of wedding? Hard situation ?

 I'm 25

My fiancé has a very small family to begin with. My family is HUGE on both sides.

For him, it's his mother, younger brother, (21) and younger sister. (18) He has 2 other uncles who are married with kids I barely know.  

I get along with his mom and brother great. The younger sister has made it clear she hates me, and wants nothing to do me. My fiancé, his mother, and I all have discussed about the sister; and my fiancé and his mother for years have told me to ignore her. She has said every horrible thing you can tell someone, will throw my jacket and purse on the floor during family events behind my back, cyber bully me, and all that. SHES 18! It goes on and on its been miserable. Her and my finance never had a strong relationship before I was involved to begin with. 

Now comes the wedding planning. I have 3 biological sisters that are automatically apart of my bridal party and I know for sure my finance is asking his brother to be his groomsman. That leaves his 1 sister not being apart of the wedding.. She doesn't respect me or our marriage to begin with but I obviously cant NOT invite her.. I have to respect my fiancé's family (especially as small as they are!)  I don't know what to do! This is my day, but I want everyone to feel included and happy but that girls only brought hell.  

16 Answers

  • 8 months ago
    Favourite answer

    Send her an invitation of her very own to attend your wedding. I would not have that little witch in my bridal party. No way. If she causes a fuss, you can gently remind her about her very poor treatment of you and leave it at that.

    Discuss this with your groom in advance and be sure he supports your decision. I would also have an agreement with the groom that if the little witch gets out of hand at your wedding or does anything that is disrespectful, she will be shown the door. End of story

  • sarah
    Lv 5
    8 months ago

    Personally, I don't feel you're under any obligation to even allow this brat as a GUEST at the wedding, much less as a member of the wedding party. I definitely wouldn't be concerned about including her in the latter. And in the event that I did invite her to be a guest, I would have a serious talk with her mom (not something you should have to do regarding an eighteen-year-old, but whatever) about making sure that she behaves during the ceremony.

    Also, you know the part where the officiant is supposed to say, "If anyone here has any reason why these two should not be wed, speak now?" You should definitely cut that from the script if she's there.

  • Kelly
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    Not inviting her is going to cause more problems than it will solve.

    Your future MIL may agree with you on certain points with her but in the end, she's still her daughter and not including her at the very least as a guest will be hurtful to her.

  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    Let him invite her if he wants to do so.  I can understand what you're going through.  I was with someone I wasn't married to him but three of his four sisters and his mother gave me hell all the time. I couldn't marry into that family but you maybe able to get along well enough to marry into his family even though you may not have a relationship with his sister.  She's young now so she may change more and more as she gets older for better or worse who knows at this point.  Good Luck and congratulations. 

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  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    have her sit in the back and have her mommy watch her lmao

    she will NOT be apart of the wedding. just as a guest.

    also, you need to start being a b*tch back to her. the only reason she continues is because you are too nice and that is seen as very vulnerable... she only does it because you don't do anything about it!

  • 8 months ago

    Well, if she is "apart" of the wedding, I don't see what the issue is..

  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    Ask yourself if she really expects to be asked to join the wedding party. I'd guess the answer is no. She's made it clear she hates you so it's unlikely she's sitting around waiting to be asked. Just let her be a guest and don't worry about it. P.S. If you DID ask her to be an attendant she might just say no anyway. 

  • 8 months ago

    You obviously CAN not invite her to be a bridesmaid.

    You get to choose who stands up with you - it does NOT have to include anyone, let alone someone who seems to have a weird personal vendetta against you.

    So invite her to the wedding, as a guest. Job done.

  • 8 months ago

    You're making this a lot tougher than it should be.  When it comes to bridesmaids, only include those closest to you (meaning you can't imagine them not being there as you get ready and then by your side during the ceremony).   His sister shouldn't be anywhere near this.   In fact, it's fairly common for brides to exclude the groom's sisters, because they/we have people much closer and that we've known a lot longer.   Also, the fact he has a small family has nothing to do with this. 

  • 8 months ago

    Who says you have to ask her to be a bridesmaid?

    If your family says “Oh but you HAVE to ask her, it’s tradition!” then tell them it’s none of their business and stop discussing it with them.

    If your fiancé’s family throws a fit about it, then tell your fiancé to deal with his family himself. If he refuses, then don’t marry him.

    If your fiancé is the one insisting that the sister needs to be included in the bridal party because of tradition, then cheerfully say to him, “Great! She can be your groomswoman, then, and stand on your side. Let me know if you want help picking out an outfit for her” and then drop it. If he tries to force you into having her as your bridesmaid anyway, then don’t marry him.

    And come to think of it, wtf is he doing when the sister pulls this shiiiit on you? I know she’s just an immature teenager but he needs to step the fucckk up and tell her to knock it off. In the meantime, you need to block her online and ignore her crap in real life.

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