Why can't my dad ever believe in me? Why does he always have to put me down?
First, I'm 26. I'm not here to have a tantrum about my dad being an unfair parent.
But with that mind, my dad is, without a doubt, abusive. He beat me until I was about 6, and he's been verbally abusing me all of my life. Some of it seedy and manipulative, and some of it just outright.
From things like putting ideas into my mind that I can't do something, to telling me several times in my life that I am too stupid for this or that.
I dropped out of high school early, because, between him, having dyslexia, dyscalculia and ADD, and being bullied relentlessly by my fellow classmates everyday, I was so far behind and so self-hating by the time I was 16, I left school and went to work. I was miserable. I saw no light at the end of the tunnel when I was just a kid. I lost all hope. I worked at poorly paying job in a gray room with no windows for 10+ hours a day. I couldn't sleep at night, I developed heart problems, severe panic attacks and so on.
2 years later when I tried to earn my diploma between work, I would put many hours into it. My dad would come into my room while I was doing "class" work and tell me to give it up, because I'm too stupid.
A month in, I gave up.
I've tried several times to get a GED and quit everytime, because my dad was there physically and in my mind telling me I was too dumb to do this.
Everything I strive for, he beats down. He hates my art career and I think he hates me too. But I dont know why.