Secondhand Cigarette Smoke...please weigh in.?

I don't smoke and I dont like being around smoke. My nose gets stuffy, crusty, and bloody (tmi) and it's harder to breathe. I dont like it obviously, so I try to avoid it. My s/o parents smoke. This Christmas we were going to go to his mothers for Christmas Eve and spend the night. But it seems that because of the cold weather, she recently started smoking inside. We opened a door while we were there recently and sat by it so it wasnt so bad but she said it's her house and she can do what she wants, which is true. But fast forward to now, I told my s/o that I'll go there Christmas eve, but I would prefer not to spend the night. He got angry and said I'm being ridiculous and that people have smoked tobacco for centuries etc etc. Firstly how am I the one getting yelled at here? For simply making a choice I have every right to make for MY health. I dont think I'm being ridiculous. I'm not saying she has to quit and I agree that it's her house, but the same as she has a choice to light up, I have a choice to not be around it. How am I being ridiculous? Also, what does the fact that people have been smoking for centuries have to do with it? That doesn't make me want to be around it any more.


Secondly, I'm pregnant...and he knows this. She doesnt know this so it's not her I'm mad at right now. Its him. Regardless of the fact that that shouldn't matter about my choice to not be around it, im trying to protect the health of the baby, he knows this, and apparently it's still ridiculous.."people have been around tobacco for centuries blah, blah, blah". Hes so supportive, I know. I feel like im going to have to be the one to stand up for myself and the baby alone.

Update 2:

Ps she doesnt know yet because were waiting until after the 12 week mark to tell everyone since I've already had 2 miscarriages....which by the way is another reason I dont want to take chances...and he knows this too.

3 Answers

  • 8 months ago
    Favourite answer

    Sounds like he's self centered.  Show him the side effects of second hand smoke and what it can do to babies.  Talk to your OB-GYN and get an official doctors excuse that says you cannot be around cigarette smoke.  Or, simply have him buy a air filteration unit and bring it with you and stay in the room the whole time with it while you are there.  You have to take care of you whether you are with child or not.  

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    just dont go there if you dont want to be around all that smoke

  • 8 months ago

    What exactly are you looking for here? 

    1. Yes, it has been known for 50 years that smoking and inhaling secondhand smoke is not healthy.  

    2. Yes, you have a right to not want to be around anyone or in any situation where you are exposed to smoke.  

    3. Yes, many people do "suck it up" figurative and literally when they visit smoking relatives. 

    3. Yes, you're having a baby with a guy who cares more about his birth family unity than he does about your or his unborn child.  

    4.  Yes, you could always play the pregnancy card early if you think it would get you some moral support, but there are no guarantees.

    5.  Yes, you are an adult and are free to drive home and or get a hotel room -- or skip the entire gathering if you prefer.  

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