Anonymous asked in HealthWomen's Health · 8 months ago

I’m absolutely terrified of vaginal penetration, what should I do?

Ever since I’ve started my period like 6 years ago, I’ve had issues. I am a swimmer, so tampons are a necessity. The first like 15 times on my period my mother had to put it in for me because I was to scarred. Eventually I was able to do it myself, but it always took me awhile as I would always freak out and tighten up. Also, there were at least three times that when I could not remove my tampon, it was like a brick wall had just shut everything out and no matter how hard I pulled it wouldn’t come out. I had to sit in a hot bath to relax before it would come out. Eventually I was put on birth control because my periods were so bad, and I have not had a period since then.  Obviously, as a hormonal teen, I masturbate. I’ve never had issues with orgasms or anything, but I’ve never been able to insert a finger. I’m to terrified to. Even the thought of penetration makes me feel sick. I just don’t know what to do, I’m terrified that something is wrong with me. 

7 Answers

  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    become a freekin Nun  or do anal

  • D_21
    Lv 5
    8 months ago

    Well, the fear of penetration and muscles seizing up is called Vaginismus. It's usually doesn't start until around a person's sexual debut. Are you afraid that penetration will hurt? What is it *about the penetration that freaks you out?

  • 8 months ago

    A big part of being able to enjoy penetrative sex is the ability to relax. Most girls report a painful first time because they are unable to relax, and their partner fumbles around and jams it in before she is ready.

    Your best bet would be to get a set of dilators - basically a set of dildos that start small, and then get bigger, allowing you to slowly stretch (with plenty of lube) and get more comfortable.  Most men's penises aren't that big - so you don't have to go crazy.

    You can start with your finger, but again - use plenty of lubricant, and go slowly.  Do it while you masturbate, and slowly work your finger in and out - just the very tip until you get more comfortable and are able to relax.

  • sian
    Lv 4
    8 months ago

    It really doesn't sound as if anything is medically wrong with you but you should see a gynaecologist. Being terrified of vaginal penetration is not that unusual. In different degrees we all are as teens because it sounds so horrible. You need a caring boy for your first time. Not always easy but we can usually work out which boys are worthy of us for first time penetration. DON'T concern yourself with size or strength for the first one - see him as a stepping stone for greater success.

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  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    First of all, PLEASE see a gynecologist JUST to make sure everything is okay. Dyspareunia and really bad periods is indeed a recipe for endometriosis. Not ALWAYS, but sometimes.

    We are very similar Let me tell you a story that I hope relieves your worries.

    I’m 22 years old. I started my period at 13, but couldn’t get a tampon in until I was 19. Because that’s how hard and painful it was for me. I also masturbated with a vibrator, but never fingers. One finger hurt a little, but 2 was impossible. I went to the gynecologist for the first time at 18, got an exam done, and that hurt me SO much. I told myself I’m never going to the gyno again. However, I DID go again when I was 21 because my periods had been SO bad for so long (10/10 cramps, vomiting, diarrhea, almost passing o it), I needed birth control. Thank god, since I was a virgin, this gyno didn’t do an exam. She just gave me the pills. BUT I was severely anemic. She was afraid I had endometriosis. So I went for a transvaginal ultrasound. It’s when a probe has to go up your vagina so they can see inside of it on a computer. Oh my goodness. That thing hurt SO much. They had to do a normal ultrasound instead because that thing was NOT gonna get up there.I asked myself “how will I EVER have sex?” I truly believed I wouldn’t be able to. Because no one else I knew had these issues.

    However, I lost my virginity at 22 (I lost it this month, actually!!) I lost it to my first real boyfriend. He’s 28, so he’s way more experienced. The first time, he had to go slow. GOD did it hurt. He didn’t even make it all the way in. The pain lessened after a few minutes but it still HURT. However, it was an AMAZING first time, because we communicated, he’s super mature, he cares about my feelings/wellbeing, and I felt no pressure to perform well. I did the best I could. The second time was yesterday. The pain went down significantly, but certain angles and positions still hurt. But the pleasure was finally there. My boyfriend does say that I’m super tight, which was not a surprise to me. I’m hoping the third time will be even better. We’ve only been having sex in a cramped car so far, so perhaps a bedroom will make things better. Guess what? Fingering STILL hurts. It’s just one of those things that will take time I guess.

    The point of this story, is that some girls just have a tougher time than others due to nerves/their anatomy. Some girls ARE a little bit more tight up there. But you WILL be able to get penetration. Even if it seems impossible right now.

    Edit- the users on this website are complete jerks. I’ve been on and off this website for over a decade. Literally, since I was 9. I asked a similar question before, and I was also rudely told to see a therapist and other rude things. Your are NOT alone in this issue, and it’s honestly not that abnormal. YES, see a gyno and discuss your concerns. But there’s likely nothing seriously wrong with you.

  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    You need a therapist. Badly. You had your MOTHER put tampons in you? That is sick.

  • Andy C
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    See a sex therapist.

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