Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingOther - Pregnancy & Parenting · 1 month ago

How difficult is it to balance kids and careers?

So having kids is still far off for me but I want an honest assessment from an unbiased source. My girlfriend and I have been getting into the “ideal future” talks and kids have slowly started to come up in conversation. We’re both still completing our bachelors degrees and have a general idea of what we both want. She’s wants to a grade school teacher and I want to become a physician. We’ve discussed our rough outline for how we see our futures but we really didn’t get that deep into kids or a family. I know I’ll have four years of med school, 5 years of residency, and a fellowship to come. Realistically, I know I won’t have a lot of free time during this period but I also don’t want to wait until we’re both “old” to start our family. Is managing a family and career doable? At what is it necessary to have the in-depth discussion?

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  • 1 month ago
    Favorite Answer

    I think it's reasonable to have kids up to about age 35-37. (My dad was 41 when I was born, and it's tiring to have a baby at that point, but he did it.) You won't be old if you wait until 30. A couple of years of marriage is good before starting a family.

    People do manage to have careers and families together, but you have to prioritize. You can do both of those, but you don't want to also add in serving on a board of directors, going out with your friends twice a week, creating a bonsai garden, things like that. You have to decide that when you come home from work, you're home, and then you're completely involved in your family.

    Level with her. If you don't see starting to have kids before you're 32, tell her.

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  • 1 month ago

    No success compensates for failure in the home.

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