Grant asked in Family & RelationshipsFamily · 8 months ago

Would you break up?

My girlfriend and I are in a committed relationship. However, for the past year she has been isolating me and made me feel ashamed for parts of who I am. If I do what I enjoy doing, (often times playing video games) whether shes present or not, she gets angry. I dont ignore her, she gets mad because I'm not working on the house day in or looking for another job day out. It's like if I'm not working constantly she gets pissed off and let's me here it. When my father passed in september of 2018, she got mad and argued with me because I wanted to spend that thanksgiving and christmas with my family. I have no savings and no money live check by check, but her check (which is significantly more than mine) often times isn't spent as carelessly as she cares to spend mine. She hassels me frequently about how she believes my sister-in-law (who've I've known for many years and is like a sister to me) is constantly trying to steal me from her and when I defend my family at any measure she makes me feel like sh*t by either ignoring me or hanging up on me or bashing my family. I've helped support her and her 3 kids. Last December I took a lone out from her savings to buy her and the kids gifts and she often times complains when I dont pay her with my check saying "even if it's just a little bit each check I'm okay with it" but she has a sufficable savings and my loan didnt put a dent in it. I'm afraid to see my family and do what I enjoy doing. What would you do?

20 Answers

  • Carmen
    Lv 4
    8 months ago
    Favourite answer

    Pray for understanding wisdom to see danger and protect yourself and pray for guidance to know if this relationship is 50/50 or just a convenient situation because love doesn’t hurt love never fails love never jealous love is unconditional looking out for the interest of others not always ourselves love brings things together not cause division.

  • Layne
    Lv 5
    8 months ago

    Did you take out a loan?  Sufficient funds?  Games, what? 

  • Pearl
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    you might be better off breaking up with her

  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    She has savings and you have no savings. She earns more than you. Instead of you trying to better yourself so you can be up to her level,  what do you do? You play video games.

    Ya, because that's soooo attractive in a man.

    The house is a mess and instead of fixing it up you laze about. She's eager to find somewhere else to live but you're happy to stay living in a dump. You have kids or at least you're dating someone who has kids so try to be a man for once. And you take a loan out from HER savings! 

    Who do you think you are? If I was her I would have left you a long time ago.

    And on top of that you can't spell even basic words. It's loan not lone. It's cheque not check. But I haven't got time to correct ALL of your spelling mistakes. 

    I feel sorry for your girlfriend, it can't be easy for her dating a man who earns less to than her, who's not intelligent, who's lazy, but I guess she's one of those women with low self esteem who'd rather be with a total loser than being by herself. 

  • What do you think of the answers? You can sign in to give your opinion on the answer.
  • 8 months ago

    Think about whether you still love her. You probably don’t feel attracted to her as you did before, if it doesn’t feel right break up with her. Be good in doing so though, don’t mock or insult her. Even though I hate to say it, she probably feels the same way about you.

  • 8 months ago

    You sound miserable. Why would you even consider staying with her? Pay her back her money and run.

  • Eva
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    I'm surprised she hasn't thrown you to the curb. You don't seem to bring much to the relationship. It sounds like you need some alone time to get your life together and find someone who is more on the same page as you. It's a lot to take on a woman with 3 kids and she may feel that she's pulling the majority of the load and that you're not really involved. Using her money to buy her and her kids gifts is a bit weird.

  • 8 months ago

    Here's a good guideline: when you're asking whether or not you should break up, break up. You deserve a relationship that you're at least 51% certain you want to be a part of.

    Your girlfriend has some clear issues that are definite deal-breakers. Those are not your problem, and will cease to have any effect on your life when you break up with her.

    You have some issues of your own, and you should definitely do some self-improvement after the breakup. Firstly, get your finances together. I don't know if getting "another job" that you mentioned means getting a better job, or getting an additional part-time job. Regardless, you need to be an adult and be financially solvent. Taking "a loan" from your girlfriend's savings is not helping to support her. Pay her back.

    Make more money, spend less money, or do both. If you can't handle your own finances, you definitely can't handle having another person in your life--especially when that person has kids of their own. It's time for you to grow up. After you've gotten your own affairs in order, you can start shopping around for a relationship.

  • P
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    You have told us nothing positive about her so It's a bit hard to give you any other answer other than you should break up with her.  She obviously has certain expectations of you that you do not seem to want to embrace, which doesn't make you a good fit since her expectations will only grow stronger the longer you are together. 

  • Iam
    Lv 6
    8 months ago

    Talk to her. Find out what is making her so angry, it does sound like money problems, which can be very divisive, even in the most commited relationships. Talk to her about money, and look, if you can't get a better paying job, then take some of the weight off her shoulders by helping round the house?

    You can get a lot of brownie points for only a little effort.


    How long does it take to load the washer and switch it on. Play a game for an hour, then 5 min to peg them out on the line.

    Run the vacuum over the lounge - 10 min tops.

    Washing the dishes. This is my LEAST favourite, but if you have a dishwasher - BINGO!!! Instant cred for 5 min to load and 5 min to put away.

    Ironing: This is ABSOLUTELY NO GO for a bloke. You will NOT get any credit 'cause you will do it wrong.

    Squirt loads of toilet cleaner in the bowl, leave for 1 hour, then flush. simples


    Just before she gets home, start tinkering e.g. unblocking the sink, changing a light bulb, changing the bag on the vacuum. But DON'T finish before she gets home, for max points.


    BY THE WAY, any girls reading this, its not true, honest.

    [wink wink]

  • Mikey
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    Best thing you could do is find another gamer to date.  Non gamers just don't get it.   This person just isn't the right match.

Still have questions? Get answers by asking now.