Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsSingles & Dating · 8 months ago

GUYS — What do you think about paying for dates?

The guy I’m seeing paid for my dinner (we were at Wendy’s) and it was our first real date I’d say. It was his birthday, so I realized that I probably should have paid, but the whole thing went by so fast! He asked me what I wanted and he went up and ordered and paid. He said that society expects guys to pay for the dates, and made what I hope was a lighthearted joke about him paying even though it was his birthday (and btw- he’s the one who asked me to dinner)

Now I feel weird that I let him do that, and overall I always feel weird letting someone else pay. But in the moment I don’t know what to say. 

Next time, should I say “Hey! I’ll get this one since you got the last one!” Or something like that?? Or would he feel weird about that? Or should I just tell him I’ll pay for my own food?? 

I get really awkward talking about money, even if it is just $5. I feel special cause he paid for the first date, but when/if the second, third and fourth date come, what should I do about the paying thing?

What do guys think of paying for dinners and dates anyways??? Do they hate it or is it just one of those things you do??

8 Answers

  • 8 months ago

    Why would you pay for your meal if a guy asks YOU out to eat? And Wendys is a date? Really? OMG.

    Meanwhile, guys are supposed to be providers and protectors of women. This doesn't make women weak or vulnerable. Any man who expects a woman to pay for a date needs to grow a pair of balls.

    I've been with my boyfriend for eight years. When he asks me out, he pays for the date. I have treated him several times and sometimes i ask him over to eat and cook for him. Groceries aren't free. But i didn't start doing this when we first started dating.

    DO NOT PAY FOR DATES when a guy asks you out.

  • Kelly
    Lv 7
    8 months ago

    This guy actually sounds like a jerk.  

    He was reminding you he paid and letting you know he did so because society thinks he should.  That's rude AF and speaks volumes of the kind of person he is.  When treating someone or giving a gift, you do so because it's something you want to do, not so you can tell the recipient or anyone else what you did.

    I've been with my husband for 18 years and he's never done that, birthday or not.  Our first date he paid for after that some he paid, some I paid and some we both paid.  In general whomever came up with the plans and we still do that.

    Generally speaking whomever does the asking should pay. Once your relationship is more established either take turns paying or each pay their own way.  

    I have 2 young adult kids (both girls) and for their own dating I've always encouraged that they can pay, they can pay their own and to always be able to get home on their own.  Their dad and step-dad though lead by example and showed them how someone should treat them.

  • 8 months ago

    He invited you out and he paid. Did you give him a birthday present? Did you know it was his birthday? If you didn't, you could give him a small, belated gift if that makes you feel better about the paying. Forget this past first date. When the second one comes along tell him you felt bad about him paying, especially as it was his birthday, and you like to pay your way so insist on paying for the second meal. If he argues, reluctantly agree to go dutch. You have to leave him with his self respect if he's old fashioned and tell him you will share the bills in future. If he becomes your permanent partner, then if he wants to pay for you he should. This is really early days so I wouldn't make too much of a fuss about it. Remember his birthday next year.

  • 8 months ago

    The basic principle is that whoever asks should be prepared to pay.  I always felt that my wife was doing me a favour by going out with me so I certainly didn't resent paying.  But there are times where she asks me to accompany her to something she wants and then she always pays.

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  • 8 months ago

    i m from older generation so it was expected that a man paid not only on the first date but always. I see it has changed so now I look at my sons and their dating - they always go 50-50 with girls. but I insist they pay at least on the first date. u tell him the next time u will split the bill with him. do not pay for him - it is kinda tacky  and for a normal man, not a total loser, it would feel like emasculating. also he asked u on a date on his birthday, u didn't invite him to celebrate it, so why did he expect u to pay? I personally do not like his snidy remark. obviously he didn't have friends to celebrate his birthday, what does it say about him

  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    I expect lots of sex if I have to pay. So, the more kinky sex you want to perform as a service for your dinner, the more you should let him pay. I bet you'll be eating lobster. I don't know it's an instinct. 

  • 8 months ago

    I think you are really overthinking this. Since that seems to be your nature, I'd suggest you simply bring the subject up the bext time the two of you are together. It doesn't have to be awkward but you really need to talk about it with him. Personally I think it is really important for two people that are starting a relationship to be aware of one anothers expectations. By discussing it honestly he will learn more about how you think and you will learn more about how he thinks. That will be far more productive than guessing and risking misunderstandings that you will have to deal with if you don't talk to one another about your concerns and expectations.

  • 8 months ago

    You realize that's known as "prostitution" right?

    Source(s): Dumb and Dumber
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