Feeling frustrated about my current situation... what should I do?

So I'm 25 and currently live at home with my parents. They are lenient, however they do not give me any privacy. And they're even worse when it comes to my dating life. As a result, I have not told them about my long distance bf, though I plan to tell them once I move out - hopefully they would stop treating me like a child then. I live in the NYC area which is expensive, though I'm currently interviewing for positions where I can make a high income and move out early next year. 

But, my boyfriend is not making me feel any better. We had a talk about this 2 days ago because he said it makes him uncomfortable that my parents don't know about him. That's understandable, but he took it even further - saying "he feels like he's dating a teenager", that I have daddy issues and need to see a therapist, that my parents are weird, that I need help, etc. To make it worse, he made a joke and said, “well you know what they say about girls with daddy issues - they’re good in bed! That explains you haha”. I feel so hurt.

But what I don't get (and I didn't bring up) - he hasn't even told his parents about me yet. He tells me “if they asked he would tell, however they don't bring up his dating life because of a situation he was in with an ex. Though that's a lie because he once did tell me his parents questioned his dating life. He also hasn't told his long-term friends who haven't met me yet about me (admitted to it), though ALL of my friends know about him.

I feel so frustrated. Advice?

6 Answers

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  • Foofa
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    Continue what you're doing in trying to get a job and move out. But you're putting an awful lot of importance on a long distance relationship that frankly sounds like it's nearing its end. Worry more about becoming financially independent and less about this guy (who clearly has one foot out the door already).

    • =)2 months agoReport

      I agree

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  • 2 months ago

    Y'know I really like walnuts

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  • 2 months ago

    Ive got a little ball of paper right, if I scrunch it up and flick it across the desk here - it looks like a minature football

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  • 2 months ago

    my advice to u will be to nip his bullying u in the bud. u tell him u re the way u are and u will tell your parents about him when u feel like it, although as a woman and a mother I do not understand what is the problem - u ARE 25 years old, whether u live at home or not is irrelevant. what is wrong telling your parents u re dating? shouldn't they be expecting it by now? it would be weird if u were 25 and not dating. but still him bullying u and making u uncomfortable with his remarks is not acceptable. u should learn how to assess yourself with people. u have the right to express your feelings. u may tell him "your remarks are making me uncomfortable and feeling not good about our relationship. if it continues I maybe will have to ponder whether we should continue at all. relationship is supposed to feel u good and happy, not coerced into submission. this is what he is doing by the way.

    • =)2 months agoReport

      Hello! Thank you for your response. It’s not that I don’t want to tell my parents I’m dating - I don’t think they’d be comfortable about the “long-distance” part of the situation and would criticize/kick me out (it has happened before). Like I said they are very overprotective of me...

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  • 2 months ago

    Advice?? Sure; if you wish to be treated like an adult, start acting like one. That's the best advice I can give you, and it's extremely good.

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  • 2 months ago

    I think now is basically the time for a little soul searching. You need to seriously sit down with your parents, take a long deep breath, look them right in the eye and ask 

    " mum, dad ...Is Barbie a good or bad influence on girls" ?

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