Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Family & RelationshipsMarriage & Divorce · 8 months ago

My wife said our daughter cannot be in the house all day everyday because it will affect her mentally. I drive her to the grocery store?

isnt That good enough? Our daughter is 29. She’s scared to drive.shes been scared to drive since forever basically. She blacks out behind the wheel every time I’ve tried to teach her. My wife our daughter’s anxiety and depression will get worse being cooped up in the house but I’m getting old I can’t drive her no where everywhere. Wife said being in the house will cause her to develop cabin fever and self image problems. I don’t know about that one. If anything she will develop self image problems from not driving. The reason my wife wants me to drive her placesis because I’m the one that’s home more I get off very early at around 12 pm everyday as I go clock in at 4 am. I’m a 63 year old man now. When she stops being scared she will learn how to drive. She doesn’t even know directions all that well either. She works from home so she is not required to leave the house. I take her to the grocery store once a week and she is in the house the other 6 days. She said she doesn’t wanna be a burden on her friends so she doesn’t ask them to pick her up.

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  • 8 months ago
    Favourite answer

    Who is in charge at your home, you or your wife? Your daughter is a grown woman. She needs to be taking care of herself, not by you and your enabling wife. She doesn't want to be a burden to her friends but it's just fine to burden you as though she is still a child? That is ridiculous and verges on insulting for her to even make such a statement. If it were me I'd tell her that she has x amount of time to find her own place. Since she works from home she can find housing within walking distance to stores. You and your wife are doing her no favors by allowing her to depend on you. What is going to happen when the two of you are gone? Do your job and the hell with what your wife says!

  • 8 months ago

    Does your daughter have agoraphobia? She should be assessed and treated by a licensed mental health therapist, if she wishes to have a fuller and more rewarding life.  You and your wife sound as if you are contributing to her dysfunction by supporting it. And it has become your own burden, as well.  But the problems she has are far greater, and if she is ever to have a happy and fulfilling life, she really needs to be in therapy.  Please share my opinion with both your daughter and your wife, this is much bigger than either of you can resolve, without professional help. Good wishes, 

  • 8 months ago

    Here is an example of a person who will do better in life living in a city that has public transportation, or needs to earn enough money to get a self drive car such as Tesla, or pay for the taxi. 

    People do not black out for no reason behind the wheel. If no one is there beside them, this may cause many tragic accidents and death. 

    If you live in US I'm not surprised. Everyone I talk to or listen speaks about investing into real estate, yet public transportation is next to zero unless you are in a large city. 

    Just out of curiosity, what type of work she does from home?

  • 8 months ago

    Your daughter gets a job in 90 days or she's out on her ear. She has to see a doctor for medication for your anxiety or depression or whatever.

    She's a grown adult, she needs a job.

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  • Layne
    Lv 5
    8 months ago

    Sounds tough but look.  There has to something more to than this. Really..  You as a family need therapy.

  • 8 months ago

    Your daughter seems to need professional help to help her grow up and face her anxiety issues. Getting her that help will do far more for her than trying to teach her to drive or taking her out just once a week.

  • Anonymous
    8 months ago

    your daughter has legs doesn't she? What is wrong with her getting off her ar$se and walking somewhere?

  • 8 months ago

    If you don't aid your child to become independent, you are actively participating in making her crippled and dependent. Your job, as a parent, is to help turn her out as a capable participating adult. Hire someone else to teach her to drive. Make her get out and walk at least 4 miles a day. Send her on errands. Give her responsibilities.

  • 8 months ago

    Nice to know that your daughter has friends,  Must be that she goes out sometimes.

    I agree that she should get out more.  But if she literally blacks out, she should not be driving at all.  But she can walk of ride a bike.

    At 63, you are not too old to drive her, but you should not anyway.

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