How do I talk to my roommate about his annoying habits?
I live in a college campus apartment with my guy friend and another guy. Here are the annoying habits of my guy friend:
- cooks and leaves a huge mess in the kitchen, and leaves his dirty dishes in the sink for days
- leaves his personal belongings out in the living room for days (his shoes, jackets, books, bag, car keys, etc)
- doesn’t take out the trash until it starts overflowing
- uses the last bit of toilet paper/paper towels, and doesn’t replace them
- drinks the last bit of water from our brita, and doesn’t refill it (he’ll either place the empty brita back in the fridge, or leave a drop of water in it)
- hogs the living room as it’s his own room (constantly sleeps out there and leaves his stuff out there)
- doesn’t clean up his mess before going out of town
I don’t know how to talk to him because he’s one of my good friends and I don’t want it to be awkward. Or maybe I’m being to nit picky. What do you guys think?
- dripLv 72 months agoFavorite Answer
Come on, this is not annoying habits, this is being completely inconsiderate and a pig.
Group meeting, set down rules. Be blunt. There are three of us living here and you are not being considerate of us. We want you to act like an adult and start cleaning up after yourself. We are tied of your messes everywhere. If you use the last of something replace it.
And list off a few of your grievances. Tell him you are treating us like crap when you act like this.
We are all living in our own for the first time, we all need to clean up after are own mess and think of the others living here. We would appreciate it it if you would think and step up. I love having you around as my best friend, having you here is great. but as a roommate you really have been a challenge to love with.
Be calm, polite but firm and blunt.
- PearlLv 72 months ago
just tell him what you just told us
- Sunday CroneLv 72 months ago
Not nit picky. He is a slob and you are not his maid or mommy - confront him and get it out in the open, would you really want to marry this guy?
- linkus86Lv 72 months ago
Ask him if YOU have any annoying habits. Guys tend to not easily be bothered by small stuff so instead of asking him a yes or no question, give him some examples that might be bothersome. You might get an earful, you might not. By showing you aren't perfect eases the blow when you bring up the problems you have with him. Then, with all the sincerity in the world, ask him how you can help him remember to clean up in the kitchen. They key is showing empathy, but you are the expert on how to do so with him since he is your friend. Good Luck.
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- KellyLv 72 months ago
Is the other roommate also having issues with it? If they are, it may be better if you do it together to avoid having it look like it's just an issue with you.
Maybe have a discussion among all 3 of you of how living together is going and what can be improved, he and the other roommate may have some things about you that annoy them, so if you're going to give criticism you have to be open to receive it too.If he's a good friend really there shouldn't be any issues with discussing it with him. My BFF of many years I can point out things of him that are annoying to his face and he returns the favor. Even if one or both of us get angry about it, it boils over quickly.
Maybe for some reason he's oblivious that others don't want to live in his trash and mess.
Back when I had roommates I was fortunate the 2 I had cleaned up after their self and so did I. There was still things that came up here and there on their end and mine that needed to be adjusted.
Regardless of who you live with there will be issues like this that come up with. My husband is a neat freak and cleans dirt that only he can see. However, I'd rather have that than someone who is a slob and doesn't clean up after their self.
- 2 months ago
My roommate is awful too. My gf went out of town so I cheated on her while she was gone and he told her. So I can relate OP. Roommates are the worst.