Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Pregnancy & ParentingPregnancy · 2 months ago

Can the father of my baby see it through a contact centre only?

I'm 6 months pregnant, I fell pregnant by a one night stand with a guy I met on tinder. I haven't seen him since before I found out I was pregnant. I'm not interested in any kind of relationship with him whereas he wants to be with me, however he has my number and we message occasionally about the baby. 

We were supposed to meet a few weeks ago, about the baby! but he is delusional and thought it was a some kind of date and we'd spend the night together so I didn't *puke*I'm really concerned about the future and him having contact with the baby. I really don't know him or his background therefore I wouldn't be comfortable with him having the baby part time or on his own. Is it possible that I could decide he'd only have contact with the baby through a contact centre? Where I know she's safe and not alone with him? I'm in the U.K. if it helps. 

7 Answers

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  • Suzy Q
    Lv 7
    1 month ago

    You don't get to treat the guy as a criminal just because you don't know him. Just like HE doesn't get to treat YOU as a criminal just because he doesn't know you.

    After all he is a parent too, and has as little reason to trust you as the other way around. How does he know you're not some psycho who shouldn't be allowed around kids? 

    The solution is obvious. You're going to have a baby together. So you're going to have to get to know each other. 

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  • 1 month ago

    Not sure in the UK but in the US he would be given more rights as long as he is fit.

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  • 1 month ago

    You do Realize that he doesn't know you either? He doesn't know that you're safe around his child? He doesn't know that you're going to abuse his child?

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  • Anonymous
    1 month ago

    I highly doubt it unless there is proof he is an unfit parent. I'm familiar with contact centers in the UK but they are for only serious cases. The man has every right to see his child as much as you.

    You need to accept that this man is part of your life for the next 18yrs. This isn't about how you feel, what you want or what you don't like about him. Your concern now is that your baby has a father in their life. You have no say at all about how many contacts, when or where. That is up to a judge to decide. It's too late to think about safety as you've already laid down and had sex with this guy. You've crossed the line and made a child with him.

    I strongly suggest you get a DNA test at birth to prove he is the father, get court-ordered child support and work on visitation through the court too so it's all in writing and there is no confusion. This will cut down on arguments between the two of you.

    You also need to get on your soap box and help other women understand why meeting up for casual sex is a bad idea as it seems the trend these days.

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  • MissA
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    It’s possible but you don’t get to make that decision strictly on your own whim.

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  • 2 months ago

    A court will decide that.

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  • Peter
    Lv 7
    2 months ago

    It isn't for you to decide. If the two of you cannot agree terms of contact, then he would have to proceed through a court. No court in the UK would deny a father the right to see their child, unless of course the father had a serious criminal record relating to child abuse. Any contact that the court awards to the father will be calculated on the father's background, and his long term intentions regarding the child, but beare in mind, the court's main concern will be the welfare of the child, not the parents wants. Don't waste money on a lawyer until you have to, let him make the first move. You can e-mail me direct if you need to know anything else.

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